Top 10 Signs You Have Joined A Cheap Health Plan

10. Annual breast exam conducted at Hooters.
 
9. Directions to your doctor's office include "take a right when you enter the trailer park".

8. Tongue depressors taste faintly like Fudgesicles. 

7. Only proctologist in the plan is Gus from Roto-Rooter.

6. Only item listed under Preventive Care coverage is "an apple a day." 

5. Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.

4. "Patient responsible for 200% of out of network chargers" is not a typo. 

3. The only expense covered 100% is embalming.

2. With your last HMO, your Prozac didn't come in different colors with little "m's" on them. 

AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'VE JOINED A CHEAP HMO.... 
 1. YOU ASK FOR VIAGRA, YOU GET A POPSICLE STICK AND DUCT TAPE!!!!