Before And After Marriage

Before - You take my breath away

After - I feel like I'm suffocating

Before - Twice a night

After - Twice a month

Before - She says she loves the way I take control of a situation

After - She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac

Before - Saturday Night Fever

After - Monday Night Football

Before - Don't stop

After - Don't start
 
Before - Is that all you're having?

After - Maybe you should have just a salad, honey

Before - It's like I'm living in a dream

After - It's like he lives in a dorm

Before - $60/doz.

After - $1.50/stem

Before - Turbocharged

After - Jump-start

Before - We agree on everything

After - We can't agree on anything

Before - Victoria's Secret

After - Fruit-of-the-Loom
 
Before - Idol

After - Idle

Before - He's completely lost without me

After - Why won't he ever ask for directions?

Before - Time stood still

After - Where did the time go?

Before - Croissant and cappuccino

After - Bagel and instant

Before - I can hardly believe we found each other

After - I can't believe I ended up with someone like you

Before - Passion

After - Ration

Moral: Let's enjoy the good times before they're gone!!!