Why Kittens Are Better Than Babies

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Veterinarians have evening hours.

Your kitten won't be able to disturb the whole movie with its crying.

Hell, you don't even have to take the kitten with you, and if you don't, you don't even have to worry about whether or not the sitter is available tonight.

Your kitten won't grow out of those cute but expensive clothes within three months.

Kittens look cute if they haven't had a bath in a month.

You probably don't have to lie awake nights wondering how you're going to finance your kitten's college education.

No one will accuse you of being an unfit mother if you don't want to breast feed your kitten.

No one will accuse you of perversion or sexual abuse if you fondle your kitten.

Dan Quayle can't accuse you of destroying the moral fabric of the country if you aren't married to the father of your kitten. In fact, nobody will ever ask you if you know who the father is.

No one will question your abilities to function normally at your job when they hear you just got a kitten.

You only have to change the litter box once a day.