Diary of a cat

Previous
Index
Random
Next

Diary of a cat

DAY 70 -- My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.DAY 71 -- Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair... must try this on their bed.DAY 72 -- Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.DAY 73 -- Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was... Hmmm not working according to plan!DAY 74 -- I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid?My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.DAY 75 -- There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to their fear of my "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.DAY 76 -- I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and may be snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured.But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.
Add to del.icio.us   Add to Yahoo! My Web 2.0   Add to FURL.net   Digg it     Tell A Friend
(Contributed by phomasiero at May 8, 2005. 121 hits.)
Flash Games
COMMENTS
Be the first to comment this joke
Your Name:
Comments:
Read the number in the image:
MOST REVIEWED
Sex Quiz
A Cheap Parrot
Ugliest Person in the World!
Clinton Stew
How To Treat A Lady
Facts About Women
Leave Office Early
Stank Breath
Gotta pee
Bob Would Never Cheat
 
This joke is tagged as
Subscribe to news reader: XML Feed

WeLaf.com -- We make laugh, not war!

Funny Pictures
Jokes Archive:
200901, 200812, 200811, 200810, 200809, 200808, 200807, 200806, 200805, 200804, 200803, 200802, 200801, 200712, 200711, 200710, 200709, 200708, 200707, 200706, 200705, 200704, 200703, 200702, 200701, 200612, 200611, 200610, 200609, 200608, 200607, 200606, 200605, 200604, 200603, 200602, 200601, 200512, 200511, 200510, 200509, 200508, 200507, 200506, 200505, 200504, 200503, 200502, 200501, 200412, 200411, 200410, 200409, Funny Flash Games, Funny Videos, Sexy Wallpapers, Links
Safa.TV Free Wallpapers Calendar Wallpapers Premium Wallpapers Flash Games Screensavers Funny Pictures MP3 Ringtones