Andy the Crab

Andy the humble Crab and Suzie the Lobster Princess were madly, deeply and passionately in Love.
For months they enjoyed an idyllic relationship until one day Suzie scuttled over to Andy in tears.

"We can't see each other any more..." she sobbed. "Why?" gasped Andy.

"Daddy says that crabs are too common," she wailed. "He claims you are a mere crab, and a poor one at that, and crabs are the lowest class of crustacean and that no daughter of his will marry someone who can only walk sideways."

Andy was shattered, and scuttled sidewards away into the darkness to drink himself into an eternal
state of alcoholised oblivion.

That night, the Great Lobster Ball was taking place. Lobsters came from far and wide, dancing and merry making, but the Lobster Princess refused to join in, choosing instead to sit by her father's side, inconsolable.

Suddenly the doors burst open, and Andy the crab strode in. The Lobsters all stopped their dancing, the Princess gasped and the King Lobster rose from his throne.

Slowly, painstakingly, Andy the crab made his way across the floor. And all could see that he was walking, not sideways but FORWARDS yes, FORWARDS, one claw after another!!

Step by step he made his approach towards the throne, until he looked the King lobster in the eye ......

There was a deathly hush.

For quite a while, finally, Andy the crab spoke .......
"Fuck, I'm pissed!"