The man told his doctor that he just wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English... What's wrong with me?"

"Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're simply a lazy old fart."

"Thank you for your candor," said the man. "Now give me the medical term, so I have something to tell my wife!"

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