Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair. She loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed in the long corridors. Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerated her. Some of the male residents even joined in.

One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. "STOP," he shouted in a firm voice. "Have you got a license for that thing?" Ethel fished around in her handbag, pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him. Okay," he said. And away Ethel sped down the hall.

As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, Weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted, "STOP! Have you got proof of insurance for that vehicle?" Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster and held it up to him. Seemingly satisfied, Harold nodded and said, "Carry on, ma'am."

As Ethel neared the final corridor before the front door, Crazy Craig stepped out in front of her, stark naked, holding a very sizeable erection in his hand. "Oh, GOD," said Ethel. "Not the breathalyzer again!"

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