A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child offive.A man's only as old as the woman he feels.Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I gointo the other room and read a book.I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hearit again.Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in aninstitution?Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamasI'll never know.Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's toodark to read.Room service? Send up a larger room.She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?Women should be obscene and not heard.Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

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