Kudzu is green, my dog's name is Blue,And I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.Yore hair is like cornsilk, A-flapping in the breeze.Softer than Blue's, And without all them fleas.You move like the bass, Which excite me in May.You ain't got no scales, But I luv you anyway.You're as graceful as okry, Jist a-dancin' in the pan.Yo're as fragrant as SunDrop, Right out of the can.You have all yore teeth, For which I am proud;I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.On special occasions, when you shave yore armpits,Well, I'm in hawg heaven! - I'm plumb outta my wits.And speakin' of wits, You've got plenty fer shore.'Cuz you married me, back in '74.Still them fellers at work, They all want to know,What I did to deserve such a purty, young doe.Like a good roll of duct tape, Yo're there fer yore man,To patch up life's troubles, And stick 'em in the can.Yo're as strong as a four-wheeler, Racin' through the mud,Yet fragile as that sanger, Named Naomi Judd.Yo're as cute as a junebug, A-buzzin' overhead.You ain't mean like no far ant, Upon which I oft' tread.Cut from the best pattern, Like a flannel shirt of plaid,You sparked up my life, Like a Rattletrap shad.When you hold me real tight, Like a padded gunrack,My life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack.Yore complexion, it's perfection, Like the best vinyl sidin'.Despite all the years, Yore age, it keeps hidin'.And when you get old, Like a '57 Chevy,Won't put you on blocks, And let grass grow up heavy.Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie, With a RC cold drank,We go together; Like a skunk goes with stank.Some men, they buy chocolate, For Valentine's Day;They git it at Wal-Mart; It's romantic that way.Some men git roses On that special dayFrom the cooler at Kroger; "That's impressive," I say.Some men buy fine diamonds, From a flea market booth."Diamonds are forever," They explain, suave and couth.But for this man, honey, These will not do.For you are too special, You sweet thang you.I got you a gift, Without taste nor odor,Better than diamonds;. . . It's a new trollin' motor!

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