What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common?Their middle name.

What do you call a cow murder mystery?A moo-done-it.

What looks like an elephant and is dangerous?An elephant with a machine gun!

How can you tell the difference between an elephant and a grape?A grape is purple.

What is a fish's favorite game show?Name that Tuna.

What do you call a lonely fisherman?A Master-Baiter.

A 3-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West.He slides up to the bar and says:"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

Why did the turtle Cross the road?To get to the ''Shell'' station!

There were two old guys, Abe and Sol, sitting on a bench in a park feeding pigeons and talking about baseball, just like they did every day. Abe turns to Sol and says, "Do you think there's...

One day a blonde came home from work early and when she walked into her house she saw her husband in bed with another woman. She pulls her gun out of her purse and points it to her head. Her...

A woman had two female parrots who were always yelling, "We're prostitutes, wanna have a little fun?" One day, she was talking to her Preacher about this. He said he had two male...

What do you call a blond with half a brain? Gifted.

There was a blonde, a brunette and a red head on an island and they were almost starving. In the end the brunette decided she would rather die trying to get back to land, which looked about 20...

Two blonds decided to go shopping. A few hours later they come out and the first blond realizes that she has locked her keys in the car, so they spent a few hours pacing around the car trying to...

1. When no one else is looking, you swear that the monkeys are mocking you. 2. The Bears exhibit is nothing more than the guys cut from the football team during training camp. 3. The...

A blonde was riding her brand new, VERY expensive, mustang convertible, when she saw her brunette friend. She thought that this was her chance to brag about it, so she drove over to her. The...

Q: What do you call a hundred blondes stacked up on each other?A: An air mattress.

What's the difference between a blonde and your job?Your job still sucks after 6 months.

Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?A: A whine cellar.

How do a blonde's brain cells die?Alone.