A lawyer was having a nice peacful time at home one day when the phone rang. He answered it and it was a man asking for donations towards a charity. The lawyer tries to tell the man politely...

One night a father sent his kid to bed. Five minutes later the boy screamed, ''Dad! Can you get me a glass of water!?!'' ''No. You had your chance.'' A minute later the boy screamed...

There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell...

What do you call one lawyer thrown off a bridge into a river? Pollution. What do you call all the lawyers thrown off a bridge? Solution.

Hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers? It's called, Sosumi.

There was once this guy who was on a quest to cross the Sahara desert solo, we will call him Simon, for that is a good name for a camel rider. Well he started out and things were going along just...

Pity us men......... If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework, you're a sissy. If...

WINDERS 98 MICROSOFT NEWS RELEASE: It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Georgia edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside Georgia. If you have one...

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?" "No," said his mom, "Of course not." Little Johnny then ran back...

A 7-year-old and his 4-year-old brother are upstairs in their bedroom. The 7-year-old is explaining that it is high time that the two of them begin swearing. When his little brother responds...

A little girl got on her grandpa's lap and said, "Did God make me?" "Yes," the grandpa replied. "Did God make you too?" "Yes," the grandpa...

On a golf tour in Ireland , Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a...

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?" No one answered until little Mary stood up,...

Why did the boy eat his homework? Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake

A couple is having a nice dinner at a local restaurant having a good time telling blonde jokes. Suddenly a blonde approached them and slapped her hand down on the table. She angrily tells them that...

A redneck is walking along the beach in France. There are many beautiful women lying in the sun, and he really wants to meet one. But try as he might, the women don't seem to be at all interested....

Did you hear about the sailor who died, and wanted to be buried at sea by his 5 blonde daughters? His daughters all died digging the grave.

The sky was dark the moon was high all alone just her and I Her hair was so soft Her eyes so blue I knew just what she wanted to do her skin so soft her legs so fine I ran my...

A bear and a rabbit are walking together and they find a magic lamp. They decide to rub it and a genie comes out. The genie says, "Thank you for releasing me I will give you both 3...

What is the difference between a BMW & a porcupine? A porcupine has pricks on the outside.