One night in a local pub, a man stumbled up to the only other patron in a bar and asked if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," came the reply. The first man then asked,"Where are you from?"...

This snail crawls up to this bar as it was closing. The snail pounds and pounds on the door until the bartender finally opens the door. The bartender looks around and sees nothing until the snail...

A guy walks in to a bar with his dog he puts the dog on the bar and says to the bartender, "This is the smartest dog in the world. I bet five dollars that you can ask him any thing and he will tell...

A guy walked into a bar and sat down next to an extremely gorgeous woman.The first thing he noticed about her though, was her pants.They were skin-tight, high-waisted and had no obvious mechanism...

This skeleton walks into a bar and says, "I'd like a beer and a mop..."

Sitting at the bar, sad Rob told the bartender that he was drinking to forget the heartbreak of his broken engagement.“Yeah,â� said Rob,“would you marry...

Q: What do the men in a singles bar have in common?A: They're all married.

A short man walks in to the bar and begins to tell the bartender his story: Well, he theths, I wath driving down thith country road, when I thaw a thine that thaid "horth for thale".I jutht...

A man comes in to the room and says to his wife,"I'm going to the pub. Get your coat on." The wife, overjoyed that he has included her in his activity replies,"Does that mean that you are taking me...

A man walks into a bar with a sandwich on his shoulder.The bartender turns, looks at him and says,''Sorry sir, we don't serve food here!!''

After a long day a sailor enters a bar, and noticed a pirate sitting at the bar.The pirate has a peg leg, a hook for a hand, and an eye patch.So the sailor walks over to the pirate and says,...

A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm.The barman asks "What'll it be?"The man says,"I'll have half a bitter, and one for the road."

A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2am, at which time he is extremely drunk. When he enters his house, he doesn't want to wake anyone, so...

An old cowboy dressed to kill with cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs and chaps went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him.After she...

A plate of spagetti walks into bar.The bartender says"Get out of here, we don't serve food!"

This guy was having a drink in a bar. It didn't escape his notice that the bartender was a very sexy lady.She came over to chat for a bit and he said,"I bet I can keep an eye on this drink while I...

A man walks into a bar and says,"Excuse me, I'd like a pint of beer."The bartender serves the drink and says, "That'll be four dollars."The customer pulls out a twenty-dollar bill and hands it to...

There was a Jew and a Chinese sitting at the bar drinking.All of a sudden the Jew turns and punches the Chinese in the face knocking him off his stool, stunned the Chinese gets up and says,"What...

A nun in full black habit is walking past a bar when a drunk stumbles out, sees her, and punches her square in the nose.Before she can scream, he lands a sloppy one-two and an uppercut.When she...

A guy walks into a bar without a dime to his name, convinced that he can persuade the bartender to buy him a drink. He tells the bartender that he is flat broke but if the bartender buys him a...