One evening, a little boy and his family were having supper at his grandma's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When he received his plate, the little guy...

A husband, so proud of the fact that his wife had given birth to 6 children, begins to call her "mother of six" rather than by her first name. The wife, amused at first, chuckles. A few...

One day a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw a guy eating grass He told the driver to stop. He got out and asked him, "Why are you eating grass". The man replied,...

A blonde walks into a casino and goes up to the craps table. She tells the dealers she wants to bet $10 000 on a single roll of the dice. The dealers figure that since shes a blonde, she must not...

A blonde walks into a hospital in a slight discomfort. "Can I have a hot towel to put on my nose please?" The nurse was curious and asked, "Why would you like a hot towel...

A man is flying on a very expensive airline in first class when the sudden urge to relieve himself overwhelms him. He runs to the bathroom to find its occupied. He bangs and bangs on the door but...

A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me." She takes her finger...

A driver is pulled over by a policeman. The police man approaches the driver's door. "Is there a problem Officer?" The policeman says, "Sir, you were speeding. Can I see...

SHAPING UP FOR A GOOD EXCUSE A police officer pulls over this guy who's been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this...

The following are messages written by children to God, Dear GOD, Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? -Norma Dear GOD, Instead of letting people die and...

A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She walked around to look at the artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she...

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning!" My mother taught me RELIGION - "You better...

It was a dark and stormy night in the small Newfoundland village when Jarge's wife suddenly went into labour. The doctor came to the house (no really!) and realized there was no time to get to the...

A man and his wife are in bed getting hot and heavy when the wife just pushes him away and says, "No, actually I don't feel like sex tonight. Could you just hold me?" The man very...

A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor queries. "No, you...

A little boy was watching a handyman at work on the upper story of a house. Suddenly the man drops a hammer, and comes down the ladder to retrieve it. The little boy calls out, "My daddy...

An 83-year old woman decided that she'd seen and done everything, and the time had come to depart from this world. After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she came to the...

Boy: Will you punish me for something I didn't do? Teacher: Of course not! Boy: Good cause I didn't do my homework!

You might be a redneck if your baby's first words were, "Attention, K-mart shoppers!"

A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one...