A bar owner in the Old West has just hired a timid new bartender.The owner of the establishment is giving his new hire some instructions on running the place.He tells the timid man,"If you ever...

Two friends were in a bar drinking a beer when one pulled out a cigar but he didn't have a lighter so he asked his friend if he had one."I sure do," he replied and reached into his pocket and...

A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer.The bartender approaches and says,"We don't serve beer to bears in bars in...

DOS Beer:Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in an 8-oz can, but now comes in a 16-oz can....

A guy walks in a bar, and buys a huge beer. Then he sees someone he knows, and decides to go and say hi to them, but he does not want to drag his beer mug with him. So he sets it on a table, along...

A guy spots a nice looking girl in a bar goes up and starts small talk.Seeing that she didn't back off he asked her name."Carmen," she replied."That's a nice name," he said warming up the...

"Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife.So he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there is man standing at the door. It didn't take the homeowner long to...

A bear walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer.The bartender says, ''Sorry, we don't give beer to bears in bars.''The bear replies,''If you don't give me a beer, I'll eat that lady over...

1. "You get this round and the next round is on me."(I'll be leaving before the next round.)2. "I'll get this round and the next one is on you."(Happy hour is about to end. Beers are now a dollar,...

1. "Excuse Me." (male to male)(Get the hell out of the way.) 2. "Excuse Me." (male to female)(I am going to grope you now.)3. "Excuse Me." (female to male)(Don't even think about groping me, just...

A dog walks into a bar. He hops up on a bar stool and puts his front paws on the bar.He looks the bartender right in the eye and says,"Hey, guess what? I'm a talking dog. Have you ever seen a...

A guy walks in to a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them.Then he grabs...

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says,'Hey, we have a drink named after you!'The grasshopper looks surprised and says,'You have a drink named Steve?'

A man walks into a bar with a duck on his head.The bartender says,"May I help you, sir?" The duck says,"Yeah. Help me get this human out of my ass."

A guy is at the bar, just staring at his drink, when a big truck driver steps up next to him, takes the guy's drink, and gulps it down. The guy starts crying. The truck driver says,"Come on, man, I...

This baby seal walks into a bar and the bartender asks,"What'll ya have?"The seal says,"Anything but a Canadian Club."

A ghost walks into a bar at midnight, and asks the bartender for a Whisky.The bartender says " Sorry we don't serve spirits after 11"

An obnoxious drunk stumbles into the front door of a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says, "No way buddy you're too drunk."A few minutes later the drunk comes in through the bathrooms, again...

Due to increasing products liability, alcoholic beverages manufacturers have accepted the Medical Association's suggestion that the following warning label be placed immediately on all...

How many Irish does it take to change a light bulb?Twenty One. One to hold the bulb and twenty to drink until the room spins.This really drunk guy walks up to a parking meter and puts in a quarter....