Watch a women eat an ice cream cone and you'll have a pretty good idea about how she'll be in bed.

PMS stands for:Permissible Man-Slaughter.(Or at least men think it means that.) PMS also stands for Preposterous Mood Swings and Punish My Spouse.

If it is not Valentines day and you see a man in a flower shop. you can probably start up a conversation by asking,"What did you do?"

Women never check to see if the lid is up. They seem to prefer chewing men out because they "left the seat up" instead of taking two seconds and lowering it themselves.

Women especially love a bargain. The question of "need" is irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game.

The first naked man a women see is "Ken".

Women think all beer is the same.

If a woman goes on a seven-day trip she'll pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know what she'll feel like wearing each day.

women will always ask questions that have no right answer. in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.

All women are overweight by definition:don't agree with them about it. Women always have 5 pounds to lose. but don't bring this up unless they really have 5 pounds to gain.

The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A not be able to identify most of these items.

It's okay for women to dance with each other and not be gay. You don't see straight men dancing together.

They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.

It's difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women...and then he turns them into Wives!!!

women don't try as hard as men during sex; after all,they don't fall asleep afterwards.

Should we call the SPCA?

A guy's gotta spend some time with his kids.

The politically incorrect version.

Leaves nothing to the imagination.

  It's pretty clear what the pecking order is here.