Q. Why do walruses go to Tupperware parties?A. To find a tight seal!

What do you do with a blue whale?Cheer it up!

Where do you get Virgin Wool?From an ugly sheep!

A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table.  The vet...

What's black, lives in a tree and is VERY dangerous?Answer: A crow with a machine gun!!!

NAME: "Expecteria Trouserius" (Trouser Snake)LOCATION: Throughout the worldDESCRIPTION: Varying from pink to black. Fangless, with a highly venomous spit. Size varies from 3 to 12 inches, depending...

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night, covered in fresh blood, and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began...

What do elephants use for vibrators?Epileptic pigmies.

What do elephants use for tampons?Sheep.

How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?Unique Up On It

Two women that are dog owners are arguing about which dog is smarter....First Woman : "My dos is so smart, every morning he waits for the paper boy to come around and then he takes the newspaper...

Two tigers are walking along a jungle trail in single file.The rearmost tiger wanders off the trail for a few minutes, then reappears shortly thereafter.A few moments later, the front tiger feels...

Two sheep in a field,one says, "Baaaaaaaa!"The other says,"Damn! I was just going to say that!"

Two robins were lying on their backs, basking in the sun.A mama cat and her kitten were walking by.The kitten complained, "Mamma, I'm soooo hungry. What can we eat?"To which the mamma cat, spying...

Two robins were sitting on a fence post in front of a freshly plowed field.One robin said to the other "I'm hungry! Are you?""Yes," said the other robin."Why don't we go in this field and get some...

Two ROBINS were lying on their backs, BASKING in the sun.A mama cat and her kitten were walking by.The kitten complained, 'Mama, I'm so hungry, what can we eat?'To which the mama cat, spying the...

Two rather old retired racehorses are in a bar getting totally drunk. After about two hours the first racehorse says "You know.... when I was a young racehorse...from one hundred starts, I won...

There were two Parrots on a Perch, and one says to the other,"Can you smell fish?"

Two monkeys were discussing evolution:"You mean to tell me that I really am my keeper's brother?"

There were two blondes as roommates and they both bought mice. When they got home the first blonde said, "How are we going to tell them apart?"The second blonde said, "Why don't we take one and...