A man walks into a bar with a duck on his head.The bartender says,"May I help you, sir?" The duck says,"Yeah. Help me get this human out of my ass."

A guy is at the bar, just staring at his drink, when a big truck driver steps up next to him, takes the guy's drink, and gulps it down. The guy starts crying. The truck driver says,"Come on, man, I...

This baby seal walks into a bar and the bartender asks,"What'll ya have?"The seal says,"Anything but a Canadian Club."

A ghost walks into a bar at midnight, and asks the bartender for a Whisky.The bartender says " Sorry we don't serve spirits after 11"

An obnoxious drunk stumbles into the front door of a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says, "No way buddy you're too drunk."A few minutes later the drunk comes in through the bathrooms, again...

Due to increasing products liability, alcoholic beverages manufacturers have accepted the Medical Association's suggestion that the following warning label be placed immediately on all...

How many Irish does it take to change a light bulb?Twenty One. One to hold the bulb and twenty to drink until the room spins.This really drunk guy walks up to a parking meter and puts in a quarter....

The following is an actual excerpt from this month's Forbe's Magazine: A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest...

A man has an hour to kill before his flight to Los Angeles. He decides to kill some time at an airport bar. He walks in and sits down next to a clearly nervous guy, who has three empty whisky...

A couple of airplane mechanics are kicked out of the local bar and, with no place else to go, end up in the hangar at LAX. One of them says to the other,"Man, have you got anything to drink?" "Nah,...

A man comes home after an assignment of 3-years and he finds, there is an additional member of the family, a 29 months toddler.Furious he demands an explanation: He says, how could you have done...

A woman went into a bar and asked for a double entendre.So the landlord gave her one.

A woman was sleeping in her bed when her husband crashing through the front door at 3 am waked her up. He staggered and tried to get up the stairs, " what are you doing" she shouted,the husband...

This truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer.As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door saying "Norks Not Allowed - Enter At Your Own Risk!" He goes...

The car sped off the highway, went through the guard rail, rolled down a cliff, bounced off a tree and finally shuddered to a stop.A passing motorist, who had witnessed the entire accident, helped...

One day a string was walking down the street. He was really thirsty and decided to get a drink at a nearby bar. So he walks up to the bar tender and says, "I'd like a beer, please." The bartender...

A snake slithers into a bar and the bartender says,"I'm sorry but I can't serve you.""Why not?" asks the snake.The bartender says,"Because you can't hold your liquor..."

A guy travelling through the prairies of the USA stopped at a small town and went to a bar. He stood at the end of the bar, ordered a drink, and lit up a cigar. As he sipped his drink, he stood...

A small piece of rope climbed onto a barstool. The bartender said he did not serve rope in his bar, and tossed it out to the street.The rope asked a passerby to tie him into a knot,and then ruffle...

A guy walks into a bar and orders a shot of whisky. He gulps it down and peeks into his shirt pocket. He orders another shot of whisky, gulps it down and peeks into his short pocket. He orders a...