This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.

Two vampire bats wake up in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood. One says, "Let's fly out of the cave and get some blood.""We're new here," says the second one. "It's dark out, and we don't...

Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?Because he was tied to the second monkey.

1. Grasp cat firmly in your arms. Cradle its head on your elbow, just as if you were giving baby a bottle. Coo confidently, "That's a nice kitty." Drop pill into its mouth. 2. Retrieve cat from top...

1. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride.2. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.3. When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.4....

What's the odd one out?1) A lobster2) a whale3) a guy that's been hit by a bus?The whale -- the other two are both crustaceans.

Why do dinosaurs have to wear hats?So their wives know which end to kiss!

You might be a blonde if you think a thesaurus is a dinosaur!

One morning the lion is feeling especially ferocious. He saunters over to a monkey swinging in a tree and roars, "Who's the king of this jungle?" The monkey scampers down from the tree, bows to the...

A man walks into a pub and sits down next to a man with a dog at his feet. "Does your dog bite?""No."A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg."I thought you said your dog...

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly Mother. The first said, "I built a big house for our...

This guy was really sleepy and needed a place to stay for the night. So he sees this barn up the road and asks the guy if he can stay in his barn for the night."Sure," says the farmer, "as long as...

It was the last day of school, and all the students were bringing presents for their teacher. A florist's daughter came up and gave her teacher a box.The teacher said, I'll bet these are...

As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "10 lamb chops, please."Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog's mouth, and quickly...

A man brought a very limp dog into the veterinary clinic.As he lay the dog on the table, the doctor pulled out his stethoscope, placing the receptor on the dog's chest. After a moment or two, the...

One day a man went to a pet store and bought a hundred-legged worm.The sales person told him about this worm.It was not a normal worm.This worm could do anything as a maid.When they were home, the...

Three racehorses standing around started arguing. The first said,"I've won 15 out of 20 of my races!" The second said,"Yeah, well I've won 29 out of 30 of my races!" The third said,"Yeah, well I've...

A frog leaps out of the magical forest where he has lived all his life and into a real forest. Since he lived in the magical forest he has magical powers. He sees a bear chasing a rabbit and thinks...

A middle aged woman lived alone except for her pet, a male parrot. The woman was very proud of her parrot because it would sit in the bottom of its cage, cross its wings, and pray. She was also a...

There was once an old pheasant who was chatting with a bull. The pheasant said, ''I would love to get on top of that yonder tree, but I haven't got the energy''.''Well,'' said the bull, ''why don't...