A penguin was driving his car down the highway when steam began to pour out of the hood.He pulled into a repair shop and asked the mechanic to fix his car. The man said to come back in half an...

A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store.The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious!She stormed...

Once upon a time, there was a river. The Nile River, to be exact. On one side of the river lived the rabbit, and on the other side lived the bear. One fine day, the bear was sitting on a stump,...

What do you get when you cross an octopus with a cow?An animal that can milk itself!

A farmer had a fairly large herd of cows and three bulls. Each bull keeps a strict eye on his portion of the cows. A rumor comes around that the farmer is going to get another bull and the three...

The National Game warden put out a warning to all hikers in his area.Warning that they should wear small bells on their boots so not to startle the bears.To distinguish the grizzly bear the notice...

This guy is having an affair with a married woman and her husband comes home early from work one day. She jumps up and tells the man to go into the bathroom to hide. Just as he gets in the bathroom...

Why do moths fly with their legs open?Cause they've got huge mothballs!

One day in the great forest a magical frog was walking down to a water hole. This forest was so big that the frog had never seen another animal in all his life. By chance today a bear was chasing...

What's the difference between Simba and O.J. Simpson?One's an African lion, and the other's a lion African.

A little boy, wearing a big red fire hat, was riding a toy fire truck down the street.The truck was being pulled by a beautiful Labrador Retriever.Unfortunately, the rope was tied around the dog's...

A Nevada fugitive wanted on fraud charges was arrested in Connecticut after he blew his cover by applying for a job... as a police officer.The Connecticut cops discovered the man's fugitive status...

Chester and Earl are going hunting. Chester says to Earl, "I'll send my dog out to see if there are any ducks out in the pond. If there aren't any ducks out there, I'm not going hunting." ...

You might be a redneck if when you walk the dog you both use the same bush.

Two guys are walking through the woods and come across a big deep hole. "Wow, that looks deep." "Sure does! Toss a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is."They pick up a few pebbles and throw...

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he will give him a free beer if he shows him something amazing. The bartender agrees, so the guys pulls out a hamster, who begins dancing and...

An American and his Czechoslovakian friend were out walking in the forest. They rounded a corner and right in front of them stood a giant grizzly bear. Before they could make a move, the bear...

A guy walked into a bar and saw a golden mug on a shelf above the bartender and it said “Win this...free beer for LIFE!â� The man walked up to the bartender and asked...

Why did the fly fall off the toilet?It got pissed off.

Having arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm.The fisherman...