A farmer from Texas goes to Australia on vacation. There he meets an Australian farmer and gets talking. The Australian shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says,"Oh! We have wheat fields...

A salesman is lost in a rural area and stops at a farm to get directions.As he is talking to the farmer he notices a pig with a wooden leg."How did the pig get a wooden leg?", he asks the farmer....

A man walking his son in the park one day came upon two dogs humpin' The son turns to his dad and asks, “Dad what are those dogs doing?â� The dad says, “Son...

An old snake goes to see his coctor.He says, "Doctor, I need something for my eyes. I can't see well these days".The doctor fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2...

Four workers were discussing how smart their dogs were. The first was an engineer who said his dog could do math calculations. His dog was named "T-Square", and he told him to get some paper and...

A man follows a woman out of a movie theatre. She has a dog on a leash. He stops her and says,"I'm sorry to bother you, but I couldn't help but notice that your dog really seemed to be enjoying the...

A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road.A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out the window and yells, "PIG!"The man immediately leans out his...

There was a lady, who had a dog that she loved, and he followed her everywhere. One morning she woke up, went to the bathroom, came out, and realized that her dog wasn't at her feet. She found him...

One day, a farmer was tending to his livestock when he noticed that one of his cows was completely cross-eyed.He called up a veterinarian friend of his who told him to bring in his cow. The vet...

God created the mule, and told him, "You will be a mule, working constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back.  You will eat grass and lack intelligence.  You...

A cowboy was riding through an old abandoned canyon trail when he was captured by a group of ruthless banditos, intent on killing him.But in their drunkenness, they decided to go easy on him and...

A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3-year-old daughter.The mother said, "What does the cow say?"The child answered, "Moo!"The mother then said, "Great! What does the cat say?"The...

A guy walks into a store for some last-minute Christmas shopping, and sees a parrot for sale.He asks the clerk what the parrot's name is and the clerk tells him it's Chet.He also tells the man that...

One day, a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven, where he meets the Lord Himself.The Lord says to the cat, "You lived a good life, and if there is any way I can make your stay in heaven...

Most diets fail because we are still thinking and eating like people. For those us who have never had any success dieting, now there is the new Cat Miracle Diet!Most cats are long and lean (or tiny...

Harry the Magician was performing on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The pay was lousy, but the audience changed weekly, so he could do the same tricks over and over.There was just one problem: The...

One day, a young camel decided to ask his father some questions about growing up. "Daddy, why is it that we have humps on our backs?" "Well son, we have humps on our backs which contain fat to...

Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty.He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say,"Jesus is watching you!"...

A man walked into a curio store and was shopping around. After awhile, he chose a brass rat and brought it up to the counter."That will be $10 for the brass rat and $1,000 for the story behind it,"...

Did you hear the one about the blonde fox that got stuck in a trap?She chewed off three legs and was still stuck.