A very traditional elderly woman was enjoying a good game of bridge with her girlfriends one evening. "Oh, no! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husband! He's going to really ticked if it's...

Two campers where hiking in the forest when all of a sudden a bear jumps out of a bush and starts chasing them.Both campers start running for their lives when one of them stops and starts to put on...

A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store.He does a double take, as he notices that the saucer is extremely...

Q. Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat?A. Because he was pissed off!

The animals were bored. Finally, the lion had an idea. "I know a really exciting game that the humans play called football. I've seen it on T.V."He proceeded to describe it to the rest of the...

A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary explorer. The reporter asked the old man to tell him the most frightening experience he had ever had.The old explorer...

There was a hound dog laying in the yard and an old geezer in overalls was sitting on the porch. ''Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?'' a tourist asked.The old man looked up over his newspaper...

There was this cat who loved to get drunk, who went to the bar on the other side of the tracks.He stayed all night long and got so wasted he could barely stand up, much less walk.The cat starts to...

Three cowboys were hanging out in a bar, discussing George W. Bush's visit to their ranch earlier that day."The funniest part," the first one said, "was when he kept trying to honk the cow's horns,...

What did the termite say when he walked into the bar?Where is the bar tender?

Q: How do you get ten fat cows in your basement?A: Hold a tupperware party!

One ant was running across an unopened box of crackers and urging another to speed up.“But why do we have to hurry?â� said one.“Can you read, you nut! It says,...

On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher. The florist's son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said, "I bet it's some...

What's the difference between an old cat and a baby kitten?An old cat scratches and bites but a little pussy never hurt anybody!

What did the father buffalo say to the son buffalo when he left for school?Bison!

Yo mama is so hairy that Tarzan couldn't get through her bush.

Tarzan gets into a huge fight with a lion in the jungles of Africa.The lion is defeated, but not before it rips off Tarzan's arm, eye, and dick. Of course, Tarzan's jungle friends help him out by...

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?Tame Way, Unique Up On It

One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and...

This guy sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard.The guy goes into the backyard and sees a mutt sitting...