What's the difference between a regular toad and a horny toad?One says, ''Rib-it, rib-it,'' while the other says, ''Rub-it, rub-it.''

Q: Why do rednecks' dogs have flat noses?A: From chasing parked cars...

Johnny's teacher asked the class how their weekends were."Horrible," said Johnny. "A car hit my cat in the ass!""Rectum," said the teacher. "Say rectum.""Rectum? Damn near killed 'em!" Red...

Q: What do you get when you cross a raven with a mad dog?A: A ravin lunatic.

The Easterner had always dreamed of owning his own cattle ranch, and finally made enough money to buy himself the spread of his dreams in Wyoming."So, what did you name the ranch?" asked his best...

Why did the raccoon cross the road?He didn't, he got hit by a car.

One fall day Bill was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a...

Why does a Rabbit have a shiny nose?Because its powder puff is on the other end.

Two Rabbits are running from a group of foxes.They hide in a pile of hay, one rabbit says to the other one "ok we can run for it or we can stay here and out number them.And the other rabbit says,...

A rabbit hops into a butchers' shop and says"have you got any cabbages?".The butcher says that he doesn't sell cabbages and the rabbit hops off.The next day the same rabbit hops into the same...

Three rabbits escape from a testing lab and find an entire field full of carrots.They eat themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night.The next morning, they find an entire field full of...

A couple was going out for the evening to celebrate the wife's birthday. While they were getting ready, the husband put the cat out. The taxi arrived, and as the couple walked out of their home,...

What's green and red, and goes 100 mph?A frog in a blender!

One day, an old guy gets on a bus. Several minutes later a punk kid with red, green, and orange hair gets on.The kid notices that the old man keeps staring at him."What you staring at, old man?...

A man walked into the office of the eminent psychiatrist Dr. Heidberg, and sat down to explain his problem."Doctor, doctor! I've got this problem," the man said. "I keep hallucinating that I'm a...

''Passionate kiss, like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly.''''Virginity like bubble. One prick, all gone!'' ''Man who run behind car get exhausted'' ''Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all...

Once upon a time, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog in a pond.The frog said to the princess, " I once was a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on...

How does a tree get pregnant?By a woodpecker!

There was a man who had a pool installed.It was a very elaborate pool with tiles imported from Russia.One day, he walked out to his wonderful pool to find it covered with algae.He quickly called...

Q: What do porcupines say after they kiss?A: Ouch.