My answer to "What to do with Bin Laden?" Well, this sounds good to me. It would be true poetic justice:Killing him will only create a martyr. Holding him prisoner will inspire his comrades to take...

A talent scout is walking down the street and comes across a man and his dog. The little dog is singing. He has a lovely voice and the talent scout says, "Come to my office. I want to sign you and...

Why do birds fly south for the winter?Because it's too far to walk.

A guy walks into a bar with his dog on a leash the barman says, “Geez that's a weird dog: he's stumpy-legged, pink, and doesn't have a tail, but I bet my rottweiler would beat the...

1. Dogs lie around all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.2. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don't hear you when you're in the same...

1. Cats do what they want, when they want.2. They rarely listen to you.3. They're totally unpredictable.4. They whine when they are not happy.5. When you want to play they want to be left alone.6....

One day, an old lady went to the store to get some food for her dog. When she got to the counter to pay, the cashier said she needed proof that the old lady had a dog because some old people have...

An old wizard was walking through a park when he came upon two statues. One statue was male and the other was female. They were positioned on opposite ends of the park, facing each other with their...

Q: Why did the squirrel lay on its stomach?A: To keep its nuts warm.

What do spiders like to order at a fast food restaurant?Burgers and flies.

Three sons left home to make their fortunes, and they all did very, very well for themselves. They got together recently and were discussing what they each had done to benefit their aging...

Why can't men get Mad Cow Disease?Because they are all PIGS!

One day, a farmer walked into a bar and asked the bartender for the strongest thing in the bar."What's wrong, fella?" asked the bartender.''Some things you just can't explain."''Try me.''"Okay. I...

What kind of condoms do snakes use?Anacondoms!

One day, snake, turtle and centipede are having a party.After two cases of beer are gone, they want to go get some more beers.So they discuss who's going to go get the beers.The turtle says, "I...

Four animals a Snake, a Cock, a Cat and a Centipede, all heavy smokers, were playing cards together.When the cigarettes run out, the snake, the big brother, said, "Cock, go out and get some packs!...

"I hope I'm not poisonous," said the first snake."Why?" asked the second."Because I just bit my lip."

Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle?A. Wheeeee!!!!!

A couple was having a party at their house.An hour before the party the woman found out that she still needed escargots.So she sent her husband out to get it.He was walking to the supermarket and...

A snail is walking down the road, when all of a sudden two turtles appear. They rough up the snail, take his money, and leave him for dead.Months later in the courtroom, after the two turtles have...