* Silicon-enhanced chests and lips reveal that humans are not only "as innovative as they are cruel," but pretty vain as well.* Wahlberg's neglect in removing his shirt through the entire film...

A man went into his dentist to see why his dentures kept decaying rapidly on him.The dentist looked at his dentures and remarked, "This is very odd, they look like something's been eating them. Is...

What kind of pillar can't hold up a building?A caterpillar!

Two piggies walk into a bar, get drunk and ask, "Where's the bathroom?"The bartender points to the door and they rush in.Two more piggies walk into a bar.They soon get drunk and they ask, "Where's...

An old farmer and his wife had a bunch of pigs, and every morning the farmer would head out to feed them. And every morning, he would see all the pigs screwing up a storm.He would get turned on by...

A man is driving down a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving up the same road.As they pass each other the woman leans out the window and yells, "Pig!"The man immediately leans out his...

There was a tourist on a farm and he asked the farmer why one pig had a wooden leg. The farmer said, ''That pig is the bravest pig I ever saw.''''So why does he have a wooden leg?'' the tourist...

What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede?Bacon and legs!

Q: What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer's day?A: I'm bacon!

A city slicker went to the country to buy a pig.When he approached the pig farmer, he asked for a 25-pound pig.The pig farmer put the pig's tail in his mouth and bobbed his head up and down.He then...

What did the little birdie say when he flew over Pic & Sav?Cheap, cheap, cheap.

A manager brings a dog into a nightclub to work. The dog  is a brilliant piano player. He plays all the standards. He's sitting there, pounding out the tunes, when all of a sudden; a big...

=========PART 1============= Two Newfies walk into a pet shop. They go directly over to the bird section. Gerry says to Paddy, "Dat's dem." The clerk comes over and asks if he can help them. "Yeah,...

Why did the pervert cross the road?His dick was stuck in the chicken.

Three bears came out of hibernation and they were stinky so they decided to take a bath.When they get into the bathtub,the last bear says to the first bear,''Can I have the soap?''The first bear...

A man went to a doctor to have his penis enlarged. This particular procedure involved grafting a baby elephant's trunk onto the man's penis.Overjoyed, the man went out with his best girl to a very...

A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up.The gas pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car.He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?"The...

A penguin walks into a bar and says to to the barman "Have you seen my brother?" ...and the barman replies "No, what does he look like?" 

One day, a bus driver is on his route, when he runs across a delivery van stranded at the side of the road. The van driver, who works for the zoo, pleads with the bus driver to do him a favor.He...

Once there was a penguin whose car broke down. He took it in to get it serviced, and while it was being worked on, he went shopping.He returned later that day to see what had happened to his car,...