What do JFK Jr. and a penguin have in common?They're both cute as hell and can't fly!

What can a bird do that a man can't?Eat with his pecker!

A lady goes to her priest one day and says, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.""What do they say?" the priest inquired."They say, 'Hi,...

One day a guy walked into a pet store to buy a parrot.He found one that he liked and went up to the counter to buy it. The store clerk saw which parrot he had picked out and said, ''That parrot...

A woman went to her priest with a problem. "Father, I have two female parrots, and they only know how to say one thing. All they ever say is, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?""That's...

What do you get when you run over a parakeet with a lawnmower?Shredded tweet!

A panda walked into a bar and went up to the barman and said: "I want a steak and kidney pie and a Coke please." The barman took his order and the Panda went to sit down at a table. Soon, a waiter...

A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich.When he receives the sandwich he eats it and then shoots the waiter and leaves the restaurant.A policeman sees the panda and tells him he...

A city bloke was holidaying at a merino stud.The farmer he was staying with said, 'It's a beautiful morning. Why not take the dogs and do a bit of shooting?' 'Great! Thanks.' At lunch the farmer...

A couple is dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They phone for a cab, turn on a night light, cover their pet parakeet and put the cat out in the back yard.The taxi arrives, and they open...

What did Osama name his last daughter?Camela - after her mother.

Osama bin Laden and one of his followers were riding on a camel when they stopped at a small town.Bin Laden got off the camel and lifted up its tail and looked at the camel's butt.Just then a guy...

A thief in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina has learned a valuable lesson: if you're going to steal restaurant equipment, be sure to remove pictures of the original owner's grandchildren before setting...

What is the only animal with an arse half way up its back?A Police Horse.

A butcher is leaning on the counter toward the close of day when a dog with a basket in its jaws comes pushing through the door."An' wot's this then?" he asked. The dog knocks the basket sharply...

One caterpillar to another, as they watch a butterfly:"You'll never get me up in one of those things."

More than anything, my brother-in-law wanted to be a cowpoke. Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to hire the lad and give him a chance."This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We use...

A 3-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West.He slides up to the bar and says:"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns to tell their adventures on the seas.The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg leg, hook, and an eye patch. Curious, the seaman asks "So, how...

There was an old lady and her dog who lived on the coast.Every day she and the dog would take a stroll along the beach. One day she stumbled across a bottle. She rubbed the bottle and a genie...