A baby seal walks into a club.I'll repeat myself. A baby seal walks into a club.

A man was robbing a house in the middle of the night. All of a sudden, he heard a parrot cry out."Jesus is gonna get you." The robber ignored it, and takes the TV. Again, the parrot cries...

A burglar has just made it into the house he's intending to ransack, and he's looking around for stuff to steal. All of a sudden, a little voice pipes up, "I can see you, and so can...

One night a robber broke into a home and heard a voice say, ''Jesus is watching you!'' while he rumagged through the desk.He replied, ''Who said that?!'' Once again he heard the same thing, ''Jesus...

Why do ants dance on jam jars?Because the jar says ''twist to open.''

What's invisible and smells like carrots?Bunny farts!

Yo Mamas so dumb, she thought that the the International Dateline was a global dating service.

A dog walks into a butcher shop, spends a number of minutes looking at the meat on display, and eventually indicates with a nod of his head and a bark that he would like some lamb chops. The...

A lady was walking past a pet store when a parrot said, ''Hey, lady! You're really ugly!"  The lady was furious and continued on her way.On the way home, she passed by the petstore again...

An unemployed sanitation worker in Miami is also facing life in prison -- for shooting himself in the privates.In a drunken stupor, the man reached for a pistol he had hidden in his pants.The gun...

How do you get a hundred cows in a barn?You hang up a bingo sign!

Why did the pig have ink all over his face?Because it came out of the pen.

There were three Indian squaws.One slept on a deerskin, one slept on an elk skin and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin.All three became pregnant and the first two each had a baby boy.The one...

A woman was visiting an Indian reservation one day when an Indian came up to her. He had a feather in his hair."How did you get that feather?" the woman asked."I screw one squaw," the Indian...

Why did the indecisive chicken cross the road?To get to the other side...er, no �to go shopping...no, not that either...

The pet store was selling monkeys for five cents a piece. I thought this was odd since they were normally a couple thousand. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth so I bought 200 of them....

Two rednecks meet on a dusty country road. One of them is carrying a big bag labeled, "chickens.""Chickens, eh?" says one guy. "Hey, if I guess how many chickens you got, will you give me...

Three rats are sitting at the bar talking. The first says, "I'm so hard, once ate a whole bag full of rat poison!"The second says, "Well I'm so hard, once I was caught in a rat trap and I gnawed it...

Psychiatrist: "What's wrong with your brother?"Sister: "He thinks that he's a chicken,"Psychiatrist: "I see. And how long has he been acting like a chicken?"Sister: "Three years. We would have come...

'Once there was husband and wife who had just bought a new mule.They were walking it down the street when the mule trips over a stone.The husband says, “That's one!â�They...