A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter."What are you doing?" She asked."Hunting Flies" He responded."Oh!, Killed any?" She asked."Yep, 3 males, 2...

Why did the farmer sell his frog leg ranch?He found out it was a 'rough toad to hoe.

In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge, mean bear.In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful. Finally, he turned and ran as fast as...

1. Throughly clean the toilet. 2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted. 3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom. 4. In...

I. Know that although the cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength. Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don't...

How many ducks would there be, if you saw two ducks in front of two ducks, two ducks between two ducks, and two ducks behind two ducks?Answer: 4 ducks-because they are in a row.

How do you catch a unique animal?You 'neak up on it.

A hound dog and a dalmation were sitting in an Internet cafe and thedalmation said to the hound, "Hey, check out my web site!"The hound asked for the address and the dalmation...

Yo mama is so fat that the back of her neck looks like a package of hot dogs.

I had a near death experience that has changed me forever. The other day I went horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control. I tried with all my...

On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day, the two were playing when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied...

What's the difference between a toad and a horny toad?One goes "Ribbit" and the other goes "Rubbit."

How Does a dummy kill a mole?He buries it.

What do hillbilly chicks and polar bears have in common?They both lick their paws.

Yo mama's so fat, when she stepped on the dog's tail we had to change his name to Beaver.

Where do you find a turtle with no arms and no legs?Wherever you put it, dumbass.

Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?Wouldn't you if your name was 'Aarghunghnah?

How do you stop a dog who's humping your leg?hack him off!

Q: What do you get when you cross a giraffe with a hedghog?A: A six-foot toothbrush.

A little boy and his dad were walking down the street whan they saw two dogs having sex.The little boy asks his father “Daddy, what are they doing?â� The father says,...