Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court.In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was...

A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed.His friend asked him why he was looking depressed and he replied,"Some things you just can't explain. This morning I was outside milking.s...

A Fairy Tale for the Woman of the New Millennium:Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological...

"Yes, I came face to face with a lion once. And as luck would have it, I was alone and without a gun.""What did you do?""What could I do? First, I tried looking straight into his eyes but he slowly...

Exasperated dragon on the field of battle:"Mother said there would be knights like this."

1. Cats do what they want, when they want.2. They rarely listen to you.3. They're totally unpredictable.4. They whine when they are not happy.5. When you want to play they want to be left alone.6....

Erica is walking out of a movie theatre at the same time as a man with a parrot on his shoulder.Erica turns to the man and says, "Your parrot actually seemed to understand the movie".It looked...

An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.The...

What happens when you put the Energizer Bunny batteries in backward?He keeps coming and coming and coming...

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the other end.After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind...

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?So they can hide in cherry trees.Have you seen an elephant in a cherry tree?See it works!

How do you fit five elephants into a Volkswagen?Two in in the front, Two in the back, and one in the boot.

Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?A: To stamp out burning ducks.

Why do elephants drink so much?To try to forget.

Where do elephants come from?A great big stork brings them.

You're so fat that when you go to the zoo, the elephants throw you peanuts.

Why is it dangerous to go in the jungle after 5 p.m?Because elephants jump out of trees after 5 p.m.Why do beavers have flat tails?Because they go in the jungle after 5 p.m!

Why are elephants so wrinkly?Have you ever tried to iron one?

Why did the elephant stand on the marshmallow?Because he didn't want to fall into the hot chocolate.

What's gray on the inside and clear on the outside?An elephant in a plastic bag.