President George W. Bush is hit by a strong case of constipation. He sends his Spanish secretary, who knows little English, to the local hospital. She tells the doctor, "Big President Bush, no...

Three Texas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed. One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident, I...

New York, NJ, Nov. 11 -- People for the Ethical Treatment of Software (PETS) announced today that seven more software companies have been added to the group"s "watch list" of companies that...

Two carrots were walking down the road when a huge truck slammed into one of them. An ambulance was called and they rushed the little fellow off to the hospital where he immediately went into...

Joe grew up in a small town, then moved away to attend college and law school. He decided to return home because he could be a big man in this small town. He really wanted to impress everyone. ...

You think "proletariat" is a type of cheese. You've named your kids "Deduction one" and "Deduction two" You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to...

Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a trampoline? A: You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline. Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a prostitute? A: The...

A man is standing on the highway, bumper to bumper, nothing moving, when suddenly a man is tapping his window. He rolls the window down and asks " What's up? Can I help you?" The other guy answers...

George w. Bush is out jogging one morning, notices a little boy on the corner with a box. Curious, he runs over to the child and says, "What's in the box kid?" The little boy says, "Kittens,...

A man walked into a cowboy bar and ordered a beer just as President Bush appeared on the television. After a few sips, he looked up at the television and mumbled, "Now, there's the biggest horse's...

John Forbes Kerry walks into a bar. He says hello to the bartender, sits down, orders a scotch, and starts drinking. Ten minutes later, a horse walks into the bar, orders a scotch and soda, and...

During a propaganda tour, president Bush visits a school to explain his politics to kids. He invites the kids to ask him questions. Bobby stands up and tells him "Mr. President, I got 3 questions:"...

Bush and Powell were sitting in a bar. A guy walked in and asked the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell?" The barman said, "Yep, that's them." So the guy walked over and said, "Hello. What are...

An 90 year old man came to his doctor and asked for "a half dose of Viagra." His doctor asked, "Why only a half a dose?" He replied, "I only need enough to stop peeing on my shoes!"  

This big, nasty, sweaty woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walks into a bar. She raises her right arm, revealing a big, hairy armpit as she points to all the people sitting at the bar and asks,...

Three vampires went into a bar and sat down. The barmaid came over to take their orders. "And what would you, er, gentlemen like tonight?" The first vampire said, "I'll have a mug of blood."...

1. Claim you were a Christmas tree in your former life. If s/he tries to bring one into the room, scream bloody murder and thrash on the floor. 2. Go to the mall with your roomate and sit on...

During his visit to the United States, the Pope met with President Clinton. Instead of just an hour as scheduled, the meeting went on for two days. Finally, a weary President Clinton emerged to...

Two actors that haven't seen each other in several weeks run in to each other on the street. 1st Actor: Haven't seen you in a while, how's everything going? 2nd Actor: Pretty good. Two...

This man is sitting in a bar and notices two lovely women across the way. He calls the bartender over and says, "I'd like to buy those two ladies a drink." The bartender replies, "It won't do...