An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You need to be careful about trying these techniques at home." "Why?" asked somebody from the audience. "I watched my wife's...

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last...

For Your Eyes' Sake, please dont stare so long

The kings of Spain, France, and England all stand on stage together in front of their nations all ready to see who of the three has the largest penis. The king of Spain takes his out and as they...

A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home from school and said "If you get in, I'll give you a lollypop." The girl kept walking. Following along slowly, the man said "Come on and get in...

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of...

Why Steve, you're so depressed today, what's the matter? Ah, well, I have had a quarrel with my mother-in-law. She swore to me she wouldn't talk to me for a month!! Then so bad about it? You...

Three doctors died and went to the Pearly Gates to be interviewed to see where they would end up. St. Peter asked the first one what he did on earth, and he said he was an obstetrician. St. Peter...

A Priest gets a call from one of his golfing buddies on a Saturday afternoon. "We've got a tee time at 3:00 and need a fourth...can you make it?" Sadly the priest tells his friend that he has...

In a recent On-line poll 38,562 men across the UK were asked to identify a woman's ultimate fantasy. 98.8% of the respondents said that a woman's ultimate fantasy is to have two men at once. While...

A white guy and a black guy died and were on their way up to Heaven and they had to stop at the Pearly Gates before they could enter. So the Angel Gabriel was there waiting for them, and he told...

1. high heel car 2. Creative design 3. green tortoise car 4. piggie car   5. 'super cart' in supermarket 6. Speed Taxi III? 7. cute piggie...

Andy the humble Crab and Suzie the Lobster Princess were madly, deeply and passionately in Love. For months they enjoyed an idyllic relationship until one day Suzie scuttled over to Andy in...

Jake was dying. His wife, Becky, was maintaining a candlelight Vigil   by his side. She held his fragile hand, tears running down her face.    Her praying roused him...

 A man walks into a night club one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer.  "Certainly, Sir, that'll be 1 cent."  "One Cent?", exclaimed the man. The bartender...

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. "Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner." Then she quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then dusted him...

A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated. As he examined the body of Mr.Schwartz, who was about to be...

There was a middle-aged couple that had two stunningly beautiful teenage daughters. The couple decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. After months of trying, the wife finally...

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon.  ...