A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer. "Sorry I can't serve you," states the barman. "Why not?!" asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice. "You're...

This is Army policy all begins... Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to...

The company commander saw the results of Private Gibbson's Firing exercise and his face fell. The private exclaimed plaintively: "Sir, I think I am going to commit suicide by shooting myself."...

Murphy's Laws Of Combat Operations Friendly fire - isn't. Recoilless rifles - aren't. Suppressive fires - won't. You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note. A sucking chest wound...

A young Air Force 2nd Lieutenant had just arrived at Misawa AFB in Japan. He'd been given a beautiful renovated office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw an enlisted man...

An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?" "Sure. That's easy," said one man. "What is it?" "H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O." "What, what?"...

A judge grew tired of seeing the same town drunk in front of his bench. One day the judge glared down at the man, who was still intoxicated, and thundered "It is the sentence of this court that...

Three men are going through CIA training, trying to become secret agents. They finally got through all their written and physical tests when they are pulled aside by one of the instructors who...

A client of a hospital where they made brain transplantations asked about the prices. The doctor said, "Well, this Ph.D. brain costs $10,000. This brain belonged to a NASA top scientist and costs...

A man was speeding down a Alabama highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector...

A lady was filling her tank at a gas station, smoking a cigarette, even though all the signs say not to. The fumes that came out of the gas tank ignited, severely burning her hands. But it also...

Big Louie the Torpedo was becoming increasingly curious about one of the newer members of his mob, Benny the Rod. Benny had been in the business for many years in another part of the country....

While driving along the back roads of a small town, two truckers came to an overpass with a sign that read CLEARANCE 11'3." They got out and measured their rig, which was 12'4." "What do you...

The following supposedly a true story. This guy walked into a little corner store with a shot gun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the...

A man with a nagging secret couldn't keep it any longer. In the confessional he admitted that for years he had been stealing building supplies from the lumberyard where he worked. "What did you...

There was an inebriated driver who was pulled up by the police. When the cop opened the door, the driver fell out. "YOU'RE DRUNK!" exclaimed the police officer. "Thank God for that!" said the...

A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said "Why did you...

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were robbing a Walmart when a police officer walked in the store. The three women decide to hide in three potato sacks. The cop kicks the first bag, and the...

A police officer pulls a guy in a BMW over for speeding and has the following exchange: Officer: May I see your driver's license? Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th...

The following is a direct quote from the Center for Strategic and International Studies report on GLOBAL ORGANIZED CRIME. FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital in San Diego that...