EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY ~~~~~ DAY 180 8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 9:30 am- OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 9:40 am- OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE! 10:30 am- OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY...

A man and his wife were on their honeymoon. The husband took off his pants and handed them to his wife. "See if they fit." "They don't." "Now you see who will wear the pants in this...

A young woman goes to church to confess her sins to the priest. ''Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.'' ''Tell all of your sins, my daughter.'' ''Oh, Father, last night my boyfriend...

A nun is talking with her Mother Superior. "I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it." "When did you use this awful language?" asks the Mother Superior....

Two children were in a doctor's waiting room. The little girl was softly sobbing. "Why are you crying?" asked the little boy. "I'm here for a blood test, and they're going to cut my finger,"...

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir." The driver says, "Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60,perhaps your radar...

Who steal my cola?

How Gillette Makes One Different

An enemy decoy, built in occupied Holland, led to a tale that has been told and retold ever since by veteran Allied pilots. The German "airfield," constructed with meticulous care, was made almost...

Three generals, one from the Army, another from the Marines, and a third from the Air Force, were having a debate with a Navy Admiral about whose soldiers were the bravest. To prove his point,...

By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where." "Well, I do have a...

A soldier goes into the hospital for surgery after being wounded in battle. Waking up from the anesthesia he sees his doctor standing at his bedside. "So tell me Doc, what did you do to me?"...

A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, "I guess when I die you'll come and dance on my grave." The cadet replied,...

A lieutenant was brilliant in military matters, but lacked a few social graces. One day he called a soldier in to the office and said "Kramer, your grandmother died." The soldier fell apart....

This elderly Italian guy goes to his parish priest and asked if he would hear his confession. The priest assured him that he would, and the two took up the customary positions on either side of...

The pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired right away, his full annual benefits PLUS $10,000 for every inch...