There are four guys in the park who get arrested for blowing bubbles. In the court room one guy comes in, the judge says, "who are you and what are you charged with??" "I'm duck and i got charged...

This married couple was on holiday in Pakistan. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed this small sandal shop. From inside they heard a gentleman...

A young couple left the sex therapist's office determined to develop more effective body language. "Alright," said the husband, "when I want sex, I'll rub your right breast. When I don't want sex,...

There were several women sitting around talking at their weekly club meeting.The topic of birth control came up and they started comparing methods. The first woman said that she and her husband...

A guy walks into a local pharmacy and walks up to the counter where a lady pharmacist is filling prescriptions. When she finally gets around to helping him he says, "I'd like 99 condoms please."...

Do Or Say If You Wake Up To Your Roommate Having Sex 50. (the obvious) "Ooooooo" 49. "That would work better the other way around. ." 48. Sniff. Sniff. "Is something burning?" 47. "Damn, that's...

John and Claire are just newly married. They are still a little shy about doing the "wild thing", so they decide to just refer to it as "washing the clothes". One night, Claire invites some of her...

Two Marines boarded a quick shuttle flight out of Dallas, headed for Houston. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before take-off, an Army soldier got on and took...

A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear: No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the...

An army Major visits the sick soldiers, goes up to one private and asks - "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic syphilis, Sir!" "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire...

The pirate Red Beard was being interviewed by a newspaper reporter who was looking for juicy stories of excitement and derring-do. He told Red, "I'm sure my readers would love to hear the tale...

Beer and the quotes it has helped create over the years... I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. --Frank...

When the end of the world arrives how will the media report it? USA Today: WE'RE DEAD The Wall Street Journal: DOW JONES PLUMMETS AS WORLD ENDS National Enquirer: O.J. AND NICOLE, TOGETHER AGAIN...

Do you remember the Charlie Brown specials that taught valuable life lessons to a generation of kids? Well here are some new episodes: Peanuts specials for kids of the 90's: We learn about VD in:...

1. Illiterate? Write today for free help. 2. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again. 3. Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced...

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer." The inscriber insisted that such an...

An elderly man, 82, just returned from the doctor's only to find he didn't have long to live. So he summoned the three most important people in his life to tell them of his fate. 1.His Doctor...

There's this guy who had been lost and walking in the desert for about 2 weeks. One hot day, he sees the home of a missionary. Tired and weak, he crawls up to the house and collapses on the...

Excitable - Shorts half twisted around, can't find hole, rips shorts. Sociable - Joins friends and pisses whether he has to or not, figures it doesn't cost anything. Cross-eyed - Looks...

1. A particular model year of car wouldn't be available until AFTER that year, instead of before. 2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a new car. 3. Occasionally...