The elderly pastor was cleaning up his office one Friday morning. In the back of the office, he found a small box containing 3 eggs and 100 $1 bills. He showed his secretary the box to ask her...

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time. "I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a...

Why did God create women? To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet. If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love? The swallow. How do you annoy your girlfriend...

1. What is a four-letter word that ends in 'k' and means the same as intercourse? 2. What is it that a cow has four of and a woman has only two of? 3. What can you find in a man's pants...

A man walks into a shoe store and tries on a pair of shoes. "How do they feel?" asks the sales clerk. "Well, they feel a bit tight." replies the man. The assistant promptly bends down...

1. After dark, all cats are jaguars. 2. Never *ever* try to baptize a cat. 3. Cats are smarter than dogs. You cannot get a cat to pull a sled. 4. A cat knows your every thought. It doesn't care....

Here's a way to spice up your office. Pick two or three colleagues and agree to play the Office Game which awards points as follows: ONE POINT Run one lap around the office at top speed. Walk...

It seems that there's a fence between Heaven and Hell, which had fallen into disrepair. St. Peter sought out Satan. "Hey, Satan, it's your turn to fix the fence. The big guy says it looks...

   It was the first day of the school year, and an elementary teacher was trying to get to know her students. "What did you do this summer?" the teacher asked Suzie. "Me and my...

Old Lady: what's the problem sir? Officer: I stopped you for speeding. Old Lady: Oh. I see. Officer: Can I see your licsence please? Old Lady: I Lost it. Officer: Lost it? Old...

 An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream...

On the outskirts of town, there was a big old pecan tree by the cemetery fence.   One day two kids filled up a bucketful of nuts  and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began...

  There once was a rich man who was near death.  He was very grieved because he had worked so hard for his money and he wanted to be able to  take it with him to heaven. So he began...

ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and now grows in the middle. BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye. CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people. ...

1. Please don't talk to my breasts. You won't be meeting them. 2. If you want to control someone, sleep with your remote. 3. I always choose chocolate over men. ALWAYS 4. 51% love...

This is the best lawyer story of the year, decade, and probably the century. A Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars,: then insured them against fire among other...

Dan married one of a pair of identical twin girls. Less than a year later, he was in court filing for a divorce. "OK," the judge said, "Tell the court why you want a divorce." "Well, your...

An unmarried woman just finding out she is pregnant gets into an unfortunate accident on her way home from the doctor's office. She suffers a head injury and lapses into a coma for several months....

The chief of staff of the US Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. So, he directed that a nearby Air Force base be...

A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have...