A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have...

There were these twin sisters just turning one hundred years old in St.Luke's Nursing Home and the editor of the Cambridge rag, "The Cambridge Distorter," told a photographer to get over there and...

A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she...

A policeman sent his wife and kid to a resort for a vacation. After a week he joined them in the hotel. As soon as he came to the hotel room he wanted to make love to his wife. - No darling, we...

Wife and husband have bought condoms with different flavours. - Darling, I will turn off the light, put one on and you guess the flavour. As soon as he turns off the light, she takes it in the...

This is an actual radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations, 10-10-95, MSG#H0000115020ecb52EMHS #1: "Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision."...

1. Never give me work in the morning Always wait until 4:00pm and then bring it to me The challenge of a deadline is refreshing 2. If it's really a "rush job" run in and interrupt me every 10...

This is an actual job application someone submitted at a fast-food establishment........ NAME: Greg Bulmash DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was...

Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after you boss does. This is especially effective...

Once there was a little girl. It was here first day of school and a little  boy came up to her. "What's your name?" He asked. "Happy butt." She said. "Tell me your name or I'll tell the...

A kid walked into his new classroom, and the teacher says to him, "Hello,  what's your name?" And the kid says, "Jeffrey Fuckhour." The teacher told  him that she doesn't allow that kind...

Recently, a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, breaking in, evading  security, getting out and escaping with the...

A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left  me a fortune?"  " Honey, "the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT...

This man walks into a bar, and walks up to the bar, and asks the bartender for three shots of Glen Fiddich Single Malt Scotch whisky. The bartender lines them up on the counter, and the man...

A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and...

A man and his girlfriend are at a bar when the girl goes to the bathroom. When she comes back she's crying. Her boyfriend asks her what happend. "As I was leaving the bathroom, a big guy at...

A man is having a few drinks at a bar when he looks over and notices a drunk guy passed out at a table nearby. The bartender tells him the drunk is Mr. Murphy and asks the man if he could drive...

I'm not trying to dishearten anyone, but here, republished, is the definitive scientific proof that Santa Claus does not exist: 1. No known species of reindeer can fly. But there are 300,000...

'Twas the night before Christmas, and Santa was a wreck. How to live in a world that's politically correct? His workers no longer would answer to "Elves". "Vertically Challenged," they...

2 Cold Street North Pole, Canada H0H 0H0 I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good this year, and since you have, I will be telling my elves to make some goodies for me...