As an elderly lady sat on her front porch reflecting on her long life, a Fairy Godmother suddenly appeared and offered to fulfill three wishes for her. "Well", said the woman, "I guess I'd...

Maria is a devout Catholic: She gets married and has 17 children. Soon after the last child is born her husband dies. A few weeks later she remarries and over the following years has another...

There was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50...

A young boy on his way home from school must pass by a group of hookers. Everyday as he passes them, the hookers wave at him with their pinkies and say "HI there little boy!!" One day the boy...

A guy is standing at a urinal when he notices that he's being watched by a midget.Although the little fellow is staring at him intently, the guy doesn't get uncomfortable until the midget drags a...

Q. Why did God give man a penis? A. So we'd have at least one way to shut a woman up. Q. What's the difference between a paycheck and your Dick? A. You don't have to beg a woman to blow your...

A man and his wife were driving through country on his way from New York to California. Looking at his fuel gauge, he decided to stop at the next gasoline station and fill up. About 15 minutes...

A flat-chested young lady goes to Dr. Smith for advice about breast enlargements. He tells her, "Every day when you get out of the shower, rub the top of your nipples and say, "Scooby dooby dooby,...

A little girl came running into the house bawling her eyes out and cradling her hand: "Mommy, quick! Get me a glass of cider!" she wailed. "Why do you want a glass of cider?" asked her mom. "I...

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm...

One day a young cowboy and cowgirl got married. After the wedding they left for their honeymoon. While driving down the road, the new bride sees two cows getting it on. The new bride asks, "What...

Stressed out...try some of these relaxing tidbits -----from a magazine 1. Jam tiny marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out. (This one is great to teach neices and nephews!) 2....

A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The busdriver said: "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen." In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of...

A man and a woman were married for 40 years. When they first got married the man said, "I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it." In all their 40 years of marriage...

A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she and her sister owned the store, so there were no...

Updated version of why'd chicken cross the road GEORGE W BUSH We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not....

As a mother passed her daughter's closed bedroom door she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter giving herself a real workout with a...

A woman went to her doctor. Said she, "I'm rather worried about my husband". The doctor urged her to say more. "Well, he thinks he is a refrigerator" she continued. "How old is he?" ...

The first grade class gathered around the teacher for a game of "Guess the Animal." The first picture the teacher held up was of a cat. "Okay boys and girls," she said brightly, "can anyone tell...

Phrase Translation It has long been known I haven't bothered to look up the reference It is believed I think It is generally believed A couple of other guys think so too It is...