O Lord, hear my anxious plea Calculus is killing me I know not of 'dx' or 'dy' And probably won't until the day I die. Please, Lord, help me in this hour As I take my case to the highest...

Your first job will be to sweep the floor. But I'm a college student the young man replied. In that case give me the broom - I'll show you how.

One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we have to learn this pointless information" "To save lives." the...

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had set their new wives straight on their duties. The first man had married a woman from Penn. and bragged that he had told his wife she...

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in...

An army recruiter walks up to a wimpy man and says, "Would you like to join the army???."" The wimpy man says, "My arms aren't very strong, but my legs are....I'd much rather join the Leggy!!!!"

DOCTOR: Don't worry you'll live to be eighty. PATIENT: It's my eightieth birthdday tommorow. DOCTOR: There. What did I tell you? PATIENT: Doctor, I think that there are two of me. DOCTOR:...

Dr. Manfield was granted permission to use Death Row Prisoners for his new Brain studies. He opens the head of his first patient, cuts out the left side of the brain and asks him to count, the...

A lady walks into the dentist's office, takes off her underwear, sits down on the chair and spreads her legs wide open. "You must have made a mistake," says the shocked dentist, "The...

A young lad starts work in a pharmacy. The owner is explaining the rudiments of the job to the youth... "When a customer comes into the shop, be very polite to them and try to put a little poetry...

A man and his wife entered a dentist's office. The wife said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or Novocain because I'm in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible."...

4 MDs and 4 PhDs are going to a meeting by train. The 4 MDs each have their own ticket, but the 4 PhDs (who have little money, of course) have 1 ticket among them. The MDs ask the PhDs (in a...

A doctor and his wife have a row over breakfast. "And you're crap in bed," shouts the husband, storming out to the car. When he gets a lull in his work at the surgery, he decides to phone home and...

A Grandpa walks into a grandson's apartment and sees a condom on the table. 'What's this!?' demands the grandfather. 'It's a condom' replies thegrandson sheepishly. 'What do you use it for?'...

A somewhat advanced society has figured how to package basic knowledge in pill form. A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills are available....

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, aged 89, are all excited about their desision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a chemist. Jacob suggests they go in....

A pharmacist goes to a nursing home to review an elderly customer. As he is sitting there, he notices a bowl of peanuts beside her bed and takes one. As they talk, he can't help himself and eats...

A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation center. Man: "What are you doing here today?" Woman: "Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. They're going to give me $5 for it." Man: "Hmm,...

Imagine if major companies from all around the world started producing or sponsoring condoms. They would become fashionable and companies would probably advertise more openly. Imagine the...

If your favorite color is: RED Tend to be tigers in the sack. They are easily aroused and enjoy sex in every way imaginable. Once the sexual spark is lighted, it may take hours to extinguish....