Mother calls up stairs, "You boys better get down here and eat your breakfast or you'll be late for school!" As they are ambling down, the 5-year-old turns to the 4-year-old, stops and says,...

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who...

A poor girl's family lives next door to a rich boy's. The poor girl is playing in her yard one morning when the rich boy came out, boasting his brand new fire truck. "Ha ha, I got a new fire truck...

A Government Employee sits in his office and out of boredom, decides to see what's in his old filing cabinet. He pokes through the contents and comes across an old brass lamp. "This will look nice...

After getting all of the Pope's luggage loaded into the limo (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb. "Excuse me, Your Holiness," says the...

A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy. "Where the heck have you been all night?" she demands....

Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Tim?"...

A woman is driving toward home in Northern Arizona when she sees a Navajo woman hitchhiking. Because the trip had been long and quiet, she stops the car and the Navajo woman climbs in. During their...

A Gentleman goes to see Mel Gibson's new movie, The Passion, and is inspired to take his family to Israel to see the places where Jesus lived and died. While on vacation his mother-in-law dies. An...

At school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults hide at least one dark secret and that makes it easy to blackmail them by saying, "I KNOW THE WHOLE TRUTH", Even when you don't know a...

A man pays his grandparents a visit. Pulling into the driveway, he is flabbergasted to see his grandpa shivering in a rocking chair on the porch, naked from the waist down. "What are you doing?"...

A scientist from Texas A&M University has invented a bra that keeps women's breasts from jiggling and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in. At a...

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again....

A businessman sends a fax to his wife "To My Dear Wife, You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you with your 54 years can no longer supply. I am very happy with you and...

A big Texan cowboy stopped at a local restaurant following a day of drinking and roaming around in Mexico. While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served...

John and Jill were about to go into his apartment, and before he could open his door, Jill said, "Wait a minute, I can tell how a man makes love by how he unlocks his door." John says, "Well,...

A little boy and girl at school were having lunch in the shelter shed. "Tommy," she said, "I'm not eating any more chicken sandwiches." "Why?" he asked. "'Cause I'm starting to grow feathers...

David finally found the nerve to tell his fiancee that he had to break off their engagement so he could marry another woman. "Can she cook like I can?" the distraught woman asked between sobs....

There's a pensioner couple, both about 80, on a sentimental holiday in the place where they first met. They're sitting in a pub and he says to her "remember the first time we had sex together,...

A Rolls Royce pulls up in front of a really expensive restaurant and a really rich sheik gets out from it followed by a harem of women, and a rooster. The "party" is escorted to a table and given a...