DOS Air:Passengers walk out onto the runway, grab hold of the plane,push it until it gets in the air, hop on, then jump off when it hitsthe ground. They grab the plane again, push it back into the...

DOS Beer: Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in an 8-oz. can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can....

The owner of a small computer store was getting tired of fixing the exact same problem over and over on computers for people...one day 3 customers came in at the same time.He looked at them all and...

This memo is from an unnamed computer company. It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral problem. The author of this memo was quite serious, but the engineers rolled on the floor:...

Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.Customer: Your left or my left?

Why can't Computer Scientists tell the difference between Halloween and Christmas?Because 31 OCT. = 25 DEC.

A guy was walking beside a pond when a frog jumped out and told him that she was really a beautiful princess and if he were to kiss her, she would make him VERY happy! He picked up the frog and put...

Who started the first computer club?Eve, she had an apple in one hand and a Wang in the other

Things to do While Downloading A File On Your Computer:· Buff your mouse pad· Make a list of things to download· Play a percussive beat on your thighs in time with your...

The businessperson told a nervous client to think of the computer match up service simply as“dater-processingâ�

Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?Tech sup: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?Customer: Yeah....Tech sup: And...

You know computers have taken over your life when...You hum the Windows opening theme when ever you wake upYou think the numbers on tombstones are high scoresYou use Google to search for your car...

Computers can never replace humans.They may become capable of artificial intelligence, but they will never master real stupidity.

Computers are like air conditioners.They work fine until you start opening windows. 

LOG ON: Making a wood stove hotter.LOG OFF: Don't add no more wood.MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the wood stove.DOWNLOAD: Gettin' the farwood off the truckMEGA HERTZ: When yer not keerful gettin' the...

An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed...

These two strings walk into a bar and sit down.The bartender says,"So what'll it be?"The first string says,"I think I'll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdkCjfdLk jk3s d#f67howeU r89nvyowmc63Dz...

A man walks into a Silicon Valley pet store looking to buy a monkey. The store owner points towards three identical looking monkeys in politically-correct, animal-friendly natural...

One day, a Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Chemical Engineer and Computer Engineer were driving down the street in the same car.All of a sudden, the car broke down.The Mechanical Engineer...

What do you get when you cross a computer with an ape?A Harry (hairy) reasoner.