The pro at the country club was rude. When he beat you on the golf course he not only took your money he then told you everything you did wrong and suggested that you would never be able to hit the...

A friend of mine heard this on a pre-flight announcement from an American Airlines pilot: "On our flight today, we will be flying at 34,000 feet. To give you an idea of how high that is, we would...

Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, The Pillsbury Doughboy, died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in one of the...

A customer in a bakery was observed carefully examining all the rich-looking pastries displayed on trays in the glass cases.A clerk approached him and asked, "What would you like?"He answered, "I'd...

A Vermont farmer bought some land that was still just as it had been before the Pilgrims landed.He dug up hundreds of stones and built a fence; cut down trees to create a clearing; built a house...

Mother:"Why are you home from school so early?"Son:"I was the only one who could answer a question."Mother:"Oh, really? What was the question?"Son:"Who threw the eraser at the principal?"

On the outskirts of town, there was huge nut tree by the cemetery fence. One day two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. "One for...

Some people are extremely impressed when you tell them you're a Navy SEAL.Case in point: My grandson's pre-K class on Career Day. I regaled them with stories of my exploits in the military. After I...

Some Strange National Laws in Singapore (Actual Facts)* Chewing gum on subways may result in fines and/or jail time.* The sale of gum is prohibited.* Homosexuals are not allowed to live in the...

At the day-care center where I work, some of the children were telling me about their siblings."My brother takes horseback-riding lessons," bragged one."My sister takes gymnastics," said...

My husband and I were returning home from our childbirth class at Manhattan's Beekman Hospital. Noting my obvious pregnancy, the taxi driver, a Mr. Ho, proceeded to tell us about his wife's...

The Chaplain had been assigned to the ship and he noticed how much grief the cooks (Mess Specialists) caught from the crew and how they gave back as much as they got. He talked to the Food Service...

As we prepare for mother's day we want to honor our mother's who taught us:LOGIC:"If your fall off that swing and break your neck, You can't go to the store with me."MEDICINE:"If you don't stop...

My Dad bought my Mom a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, I asked how she was doing with it."Oh," said My Dad, "I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet.""How come?" I asked."Well," he...

Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science.She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of ironNow it was question time and...

Q: How do really small people call each other ?A: Microphones !

Girl: "There's a new diet where you don't eat any carbohydrates."Boy: "What are carbohydrates?"Girl: "No bread. No cereal. No rice. No potatoes. No chips, crackers or pretzels at all!"Boy: "That...

Jill: Have you ever "loved and lost"?Nadine: No, I usually "loved and threw away"!

Three hungry Korean guys walk into a restaurant and sit down. One of them reads a sign, translates to the others, and then they whip down their pants and all start to whack off furiously.The...

It's a sunny morning in the Big Forest and the Bear family is just waking up. Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table.He looks into his small bowl. It is empty! "Who's...