Top 10 Reasons College Students Are Looking Forward to Thanksgiving Break : 10 : You'll know that your turkey is a Butterball rather than a Grade E yet semi-edible fur ball. 9 : Your mother...

  Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside.  

Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist? To improve his bite... What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite... Why do witches use brooms to fly on? Because vacuum...

A virile young man went to his friend, a pharmacist, asking for some Spanish fly because he had two hot (very, very hot) dates that night and didn't want to disappoint themThe pharmacist told his...

While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was approached by a little girl about six years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a policeman?""Yes," I...

A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion.The visiting hunter asked, "when did you bag him?"  the host said, "that was three years ago,...

Cabbage always has a heart;Green beans string along.You're such a Tomato,Will you Peas to me belong?You've been the Apple of my eye,You know how much I care;So Lettuce get together,We'd make a...

Q. What does it mean when the Easter Bunny arrives one day late with melted candy?A. He probably had a bad hare day.

Little Johnny's 2nd-grade teacher was quizzing them on the alphabet."Johnny," she says, "what comes after 'O'?"Johnny says, "God, I'm coming!!"

A pious man who had reached the age of 105 suddenly stopped going to synagogue. Alarmed by the old fellow's absence after so many years of faithful attendance the Rabbi went to see him. He found...

Q: Why does Michael Jackson want to move to Ohio?A: He heard there's a Youngstown there.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?A. Rose Marie: "You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll show you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?A. Got two fives for a ten?

Q. What does Woody Allen call an unborn baby?A. A blind date.

How do you paint a tunnel?With Di.

Q. What is forty feet long and has eight teeth?A. The front row at a Willie Nelson concert.

What did Will Carling, get over Dodi Fayed?Will Carling scored while Dodi Fayed hit the post.

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?A. Charley Weaver: "I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him."

Q: What do Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston have in common?A: They both like a little crack now and then.

Q: Which chips does Michael Jackson like to munch on?A: O'Boysies.