Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?A. Paul Lynde: "Point and laugh."

What's the difference between Diana and a pocketful of change?It's easier to scrape together a pocketful of change.

Q: How does Michael Jackson keep his youth?A: Pizza and Nintendo.

How can we be sure Princess Di's driver was not from Pittsburgh?He'd have slowed down before entering the tunnel.

Q: Why did Pepsi sign up Michael Jackson for their ads?A: Because he likes the taste of a new generation.

Q: Why did Pepsi fire Michael Jackson?A: Because he was caught sucking on a Squirt!!

Q. Do female frogs croak?A. Paul Lynde: "If you hold their heads underwater long enough."

Q: Why is Michael Jackson's album new entitled "Bad"?A: Because he couldn't spell "Pathetic".

Why do the Papparazi go around sticking cameras in peoples faces and taking photos?Because their dicks don't work

What's the difference between the paparazzi and Princess Di?The paparazzi dig for dirt, Di dug for gold.

Why did Elton John sing at the funeral?Because he's the only queen who cares.

Have you heard that Princess Diana was on the radio?And the dashboard, and the windscreen, and...

Q. What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?A. Get out of my sun!

Q. What was JFK Jr. drinking at the time of the crash?A. Ocean Spray.

Sometimes kids will repeat the things we say, but under other circumstances, and they take on new and different meanings.A few years back a friend of a friend was having a bridge party. Shortly...

What was the last thing Diana said to the paparazzi?No more pictures, I'm a bloody Princess!

What's the difference between the NFL and Princess Diana?The NFL players came out of the tunnel Sunday.

Q. What are: "Do it," "I can help," and "I can't get enough"?A. George Gobel: "I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment."

What is Diana's new title?Princess of Walls

Hear about the new Mercedes? It comes with two airbags and three bodybags.