What does world hunger and a mercedes have in common? Diana can't stop either.

Q. What do you call a man with a blackhead on his dick?A. Hugh Grant.

Q: How is Michael now?A: Feeling a little crotchety.

Q. How come Mike Tyson’s eye's water during sex?A. Mace

Q: How will they ensure that Michael gets a thorough body search?A: Hire a Catholic priest to do it.

Q. Why does Hillary want to have sex with Bill Clinton first thing in the morning?A. She wants to be the first lady.

Q. When will there be a woman in the White House?A. When Hillary leaves town.

Q: What is Michael Jackson's favorite game to play at night?A: Hide the pickle in the pajamas.

Q. What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her for swearing?A. Washed her hands with soap.

Q. How did Helen Keller's mother punish her?A. By rearranging the living-room furniture.

Q. Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?A. So she can moan with the other.

Q. What did Helen Keller do when she fell down the well?A. She screamed her hands off.

Why did Elton John sing at Diana's funeral?He wanted toupee his respects.

Q: What did Michael Jackson do when his hair caught on fire?A: He "Beat-it!"

What does Lady Di and the family Gumuz have in common?They are both out of the Pipe.Hint: The family Gumuz was a Turkish family living illegally for 6 years in Amsterdam in De pijp. "De Pijp uit"...

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?A. Charley Weaver: "Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries."

Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Greyhound racing?A. The greyhounds wait for the hairs to come out.

Q: What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?A: Got two fives for a ten?

Q: How do you neuter Michael Jackson?A: Give him spiked gloves and tell him to sing a song.

What's harder than getting ink out of the carpet?Getting Di out of the upholstery