Two hookers were riding around town with a sign on top of their car that said, ''TWO PROSTITUTES -- $50.00.'' A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove...

A small boy was crying his eyes out at a football match. Seeing his plight, a policeman came up to him and asked what the problem was. "I've lost my dad," cried the boy. "What's he like?" asked...

Thou shalt include a clear and specific subject line. Thou shalt edit any quoted text down to the minimum thou needest. Thou shalt read thine own message thrice before thou sendest it. ...

So there's this fella with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the guy who owns him...

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com, did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of...

There are only 10 types of people in the world - Those who understand binary, and those who don't.

A young, freshly minted lieutenant was sent to overseas as part of a peace keeping mission. During a briefing on land mines, the captain asked for questions. Our intrepid solder raised his...

A Scottish private walks into the pharmacy near his bases, pulls a beat-up, mutilated condom out of his pocket, and asks the pharmacist how much it would cost to repair the condom. The...

A man was being interviewed for a job. "Were you in the service?" ask the interviewer. "Yes, I was a marine," responded the applicant. "Did you see any active duty?" "I was in...

Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days. "Why, my outfit was so well drilled," declared one, "that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click." ...

The General went out to find that none of his G.I.s were there. One finally ran up, panting heavily. "Sorry, sir! I can explain, you see I had a date and it ran a little late. I ran to the bus...

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ? It's Christmas, Eve ! How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day ? Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve ! What do you have in December...

Not long ago and far away, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip, but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the...

1. Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, golf balls, bags of sand, etc.) 2. Wait behind the door until some people come. When they get near the door, jump out, wearing a costume,...

There were these two children of color trying to decide what to get dressed as to go trick-or-treating for Halloween. Finally the oldest one, Robert, turned to his sister Francine and said, "I...

1. Every year you get a brand new crop to choose from. 2. No matter what your mood is, pumpkins are always ready to greet you with a smile. 3. One usually makes a better pie. 4. They are always...

10. You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack. 9. If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again. 8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some. 7....

College Dictionary CAFETERIA: From 2 Latin words, "cafe" meaning place to eat and "teria" meaning to wretch. MAJOR: Area of study that no longer interest you. STUDENT ATHLETE: See...

Three students, a student from Tennessee, a student from Alabama, and a student from Auburn are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will...

One sunny day a rabbit came out of her hole in the ground to enjoy the fine weather. The day was so nice that she became careless and a fox snuck up behind her and caught her. "I am going to...