The Election Is Over, The Results Are Known. The Will Of The People Has Been Clearly Shown. So Lets All Get Together And Let Bitterness Pass, I'll Hug Your Elephant, And You Can Kiss My ASS!!!!!

Monica Lewinsky was walking on the beach when she found a lantern washed up on the shore. She started to rub it and out popped a genie. "Oh goodie, now I will get three wishes!", she...

George W. Bush, in an airport lobby, noticed a man in a long flowing white robe with a long flowing white beard and flowing white hair. The man had a staff in one hand and some stone tablets...

A bus filled with politicians was driving through the countryside one day, on the campaign trail. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery,loses control and crashes into the ditch. A...

Bill Clinton dies and goes to hell. Satan is giving him a VIP tour, showing him his options for spending eternity. They come to a room marked "Hitler." Inside is Eva Braun, torturing Adolf...

Two old friends met at the golf course. "How's it going?" asked the first guy. "Not so good," said the second. "My wife's divorcing me." "Why that's terrible" said the first. "What...

The worst foursome to play behind would have to be Monica Lewinski, O.J. Simpson, Ted Kennedy and Bill Clinton. - Monica is a hooker - O.J. is a slicer - Ted can't drive over water -...

A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin." The husband...

These two guys were approaching the first tee. The first guy goes into his golf bag to get a ball and says to his friend, "Hey, why don't you try this ball?" He draws a green golf ball out of his...

Four golfers met at a golf course and were discussing how they got their wives to let them play golf. The first golfer said that he sent his wife a dozen red roses and fixed a gourmet dinner for...

10. Back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart. 9. Form a loose grip. 8. Keep your head down. 7. Avoid a quick backswing. 6. Stay out of the water. 5. Try not to hit anyone. 4....

President Clinton got together with some of his golf buddies for a round. When they got ready to tee off on hole No. 1, Clinton removed his golf jacket and revealed that he had a pair of panties...

It was a sunny Saturday morning, and Joe was beginning his pre-shot routine, visualizing his upcoming shot when a voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker - "Would the gentleman on the Ladies tee...

I was playing golf with my doctor friend one day. He ALWAYS hit his drives right down the middle of the fairway. My problem was that I ALWAYS hooked my ball completely off the fairway. I asked...

1. A below par performance is considered good. 2. Can stop in the middle and down a couple of beers. 3. Much easier to find the sweet spot. 4. Foursomes are encouraged. 5. Can make...

10. Nuts...my shaft is bent 9. After 18 holes I can barely walk 8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker 7. Look at the size of his putter 6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a...

A man decided to shoot a round of golf alone, since all his friends were busy. In the clubhouse, he is put with a threesome, because it was such a busy day. He was grouped with two other men and a...

Re: The admission of women to the club. Since the admission of women to the club, members are asked to obey the following rules. 1. Ladies are prohibited from touching the gentlemen's balls...

The Italian had never played golf before and so he asked for some tips before starting the game. The American decided to teach the Italian the proper way to putt a golf ball. The American said,...

Sid and Barney head out for a quick round of golf. Since they are short on time, they decide to play only 9 holes. Sid offers Barney, "let's say we make the time worth the while, at least for one...