Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he sad to his wife: "When I"m dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can"t marry anyone...

The following conversation took place one morning between a wife and her husband. They were discussing government cost cuts that they recently heard about in the paper. "Steve," his wife said,...

A man was traveling down a country road when he saw a large group of people outside a house. He stopped and asked a person why the large crowd was there. A farmer replied, "Joe"s mule kicked...

At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. "The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell...

They were married, but since the argument they had a few days earlier, they hadn"t been talking to each other. Instead, they were giving each other written notes. One evening he gave her a...

1. Do not expect your doctor to share your discomfort. Involvement with the patient"s suffering might cause him to lose valuable scientific objectivity. 2. Be cheerful at all times. Your doctor...

While being deployed in Afghanistan, Private. Joe Snuffy was getting the in-brief by his seargent. After the seargent. let him know where the latrines and chow tent were, Snuffy had one question,...

There was a young Scottish boy called Angus who decided to try life in Australia. He found an apartment in a small block and settled in. After a week or two, his mother called from Aberdeen to...

An Irishman, a black guy, and a white guy were driving through the desert when they suddenly ran out of gas. They all decided to start walking to the nearest town (which they had passed 50 miles...

A Scots sailor was shipwrecked and washed away ashore on a tropical island. As he opened his eyes and gazed around, he saw a lovely young woman wearing only a grass skirt. Are you hungry??she...

Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great price, but it's missing a seal, so whenever it rains, he has to smear Vaseline over the spot where the seal should be. ...

Here is another joke about parrots: Once there was a couple that didn't have a lot of money because the wife didn't work; but the guy was happy with his job, and they lived a normal life and...

An elderly man goes into confession and says to the priest, "Father, I'm 80 years old, married, have four kids and 11 grandchildren. I started taking this new Viagra pill, and last night I had an...

presidential election debate between John Kerry and George W. Bush (who is more likely to win according to his current seats.)

At this moment, the Elephant is going ahead of the Donkey during the reace...Let's see who will be the new president! 

At this moment, the Elephant is going ahead of the Donkey...Let's wait for the result! 

Once upon a time there lived a young electron called Micro Farad. One night young Micro Farad was feeling pretty highly charged; so he decided to find a cute coil to help him discharge his...

Two atoms are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I'm positive!"

Noah's Ark lands after The Flood and Noah releases all the animals, saying, "Go forth and multiply." Several months pass and Noah decides to check up on the animals. All are doing fine except a...

How do you prove in three steps that a sheet of paper is a lazy dog? 1. A sheet of paper is an ink-lined plane. 2. An inclined plane is a slope up. 3. A slow pup is a lazy dog.  ...