On the outskirts of town, there was a big old pecan tree by the cemetery fence.   One day two kids filled up a bucketful of nuts  and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began...

  There once was a rich man who was near death.  He was very grieved because he had worked so hard for his money and he wanted to be able to  take it with him to heaven. So he began...

ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and now grows in the middle. BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye. CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people. ...

1. Please don't talk to my breasts. You won't be meeting them. 2. If you want to control someone, sleep with your remote. 3. I always choose chocolate over men. ALWAYS 4. 51% love...

This is the best lawyer story of the year, decade, and probably the century. A Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars,: then insured them against fire among other...

It's not worth it, Roy. Let's Just give hime our noses and let him go.

Dan married one of a pair of identical twin girls. Less than a year later, he was in court filing for a divorce. "OK," the judge said, "Tell the court why you want a divorce." "Well, your...

An unmarried woman just finding out she is pregnant gets into an unfortunate accident on her way home from the doctor's office. She suffers a head injury and lapses into a coma for several months....

The chief of staff of the US Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. So, he directed that a nearby Air Force base be...

A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have...

There were these twin sisters just turning one hundred years old in St.Luke's Nursing Home and the editor of the Cambridge rag, "The Cambridge Distorter," told a photographer to get over there and...

A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she...

A policeman sent his wife and kid to a resort for a vacation. After a week he joined them in the hotel. As soon as he came to the hotel room he wanted to make love to his wife. - No darling, we...

Wife and husband have bought condoms with different flavours. - Darling, I will turn off the light, put one on and you guess the flavour. As soon as he turns off the light, she takes it in the...

"I love you! I love you! ..."

Another wicked penguin!

Look at this wicked penguin!

This is an actual radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations, 10-10-95, MSG#H0000115020ecb52EMHS #1: "Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision."...

1. Never give me work in the morning Always wait until 4:00pm and then bring it to me The challenge of a deadline is refreshing 2. If it's really a "rush job" run in and interrupt me every 10...