Two doctors opened an office in a small town. They put up a sign reading: "Dr Smith and Dr Jones, Psychiatry and Proctology." The town council was not too happy with the sign, so...

A fathers rules to dating; Rule One - If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up. Rule Two - You do not touch...

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?" HUSBAND: "Definitely not!" WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?" HUSBAND: "Of...

After giving a woman a full medical examination, the doctor explained his prescription as he wrote it out. "When you get up, take the green pill with a glass of water. Take the blue pill with...

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all...

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. The golfer says to himself, "I'd give anything to sink this next putt." A stranger walks up to...

A husband, so proud of the fact that his wife had given birth to 6 children, begins to call her "mother of six" rather than by her first name. The wife, amused at first, chuckles. A few...

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the...

An older couple is lying in bed one morning, having just awakened from a good night's sleep. He takes her hand and she responds, "Don't touch me!" "Why not?" he...

WINDERS 98 MICROSOFT NEWS RELEASE: It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Georgia edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside Georgia. If you have one...

On a golf tour in Ireland , Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a...

What's the difference between a blonde and the internet? Not everyone has been on the internet!

What does a blonde do when she wakes up? She goes home!

A guy walks in to a bar with his dog he puts the dog on the bar and says to the bartender, "This is the smartest dog in the world. I bet five dollars that you can ask him any thing and he will tell...

A guy walked into a bar and sat down next to an extremely gorgeous woman.The first thing he noticed about her though, was her pants.They were skin-tight, high-waisted and had no obvious mechanism...

A man walked into a bar with a lizard on his shoulder.The barman asked whats the lizard was called,to which the man replied "Tiny"."Why did u call him that?" asked the barman."Because, he's my newt!!"

A man goes into a pub, takes a seat at the bar, and orders five shots. The bartender gives him an odd look since he’s all by himself, but he serves up the five shots and lines them...

Horse walks into a bar, orders a beer, sits down at one of the tables, and starts reading his paper.The bartender is a bit shocked by all this, but pours the beer, and brings it over to the horse,...

She said: Wat do you mean by coming home half drunk?He said: It's not my fault...I ran out of money.

So this guy walks into a bar and says, "Gve me two beers."The bartender obliges him. The guy looks into his wallet and says,"Give me two more beers."So the bartender gives him two more beers.The...