Funny Pictures & Jokes Archive 200502

Archive: 200502 Page 8 of 19
Feb 26, 2005
A man walks into a pub and sits down next to a man with a dog at his feet. "Does your dog bite?""No."A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg."I thought you said your dog...
Feb 21, 2005
The Sick Dog 109 hits
A man brought a very limp dog into the veterinary clinic.As he lay the dog on the table, the doctor pulled out his stethoscope, placing the receptor on the dog's chest. After a moment or two, the...
Feb 15, 2005
The Penguin 103 hits
A penguin was driving his car down the highway when steam began to pour out of the hood.He pulled into a repair shop and asked the mechanic to fix his car. The man said to come back in half an...
Feb 16, 2005
Once upon a time, there was a river. The Nile River, to be exact. On one side of the river lived the rabbit, and on the other side lived the bear. One fine day, the bear was sitting on a stump,...
Feb 27, 2005
A man walking his son in the park one day came upon two dogs humpin' The son turns to his dad and asks, “Dad what are those dogs doing?â� The dad says, “Son...
Feb 20, 2005
A cowboy was riding through an old abandoned canyon trail when he was captured by a group of ruthless banditos, intent on killing him.But in their drunkenness, they decided to go easy on him and...
Feb 21, 2005
The Brass Rat 100 hits
A man walked into a curio store and was shopping around. After awhile, he chose a brass rat and brought it up to the counter."That will be $10 for the brass rat and $1,000 for the story behind it,"...
Feb 17, 2005
A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary explorer. The reporter asked the old man to tell him the most frightening experience he had ever had.The old explorer...
Feb 25, 2005
One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and...
Feb 26, 2005
Study of Cats 105 hits
1. Cats do what they want, when they want.2. They rarely listen to you.3. They're totally unpredictable.4. They whine when they are not happy.5. When you want to play they want to be left alone.6....
Feb 19, 2005
Some Things 103 hits
One day, a farmer walked into a bar and asked the bartender for the strongest thing in the bar."What's wrong, fella?" asked the bartender.''Some things you just can't explain."''Try me.''"Okay. I...
Feb 14, 2005
What did the snail say on the tortoise's back?"Weeeeeeeeeee!"
Feb 21, 2005
Why did the squirrel sleep on his stomach?To keep his nuts warm!
Feb 13, 2005
What do a walrus and tupperware have in common?They both like a tight seal!
Feb 21, 2005
What did one duck say to the other?What?"Social Security!"I don't get it.You won't till you're 65...
Feb 24, 2005
Sexual Relief 267 hits
Private Atkins joins the French Foreign Legion and is stationed at a remote outpost in the North African desert. After several weeks in barracks he feels a yearning for female companionship.He...
Feb 27, 2005
Seagulls 111 hits
Q: Why do seagulls live by the sea?A: Because if they lived by the bay, they would be bagels.
Feb 14, 2005
This farmer has 500 hens but no rooster so he goes to his neighbor and asks him if he could buy a rooster for $100.The neighbor says, "You can have this rooster. His name's Roy. He'll get all your...
Feb 14, 2005
What animal rotates at least 200 times after it dies?Roast chicken!
Feb 22, 2005
I was walking home when I noticed a couple of robins laying down in the sun.I let my talking cats out and the kitten said to her mom, ''I'm hungry!''So the mother cat said, ''What would you like?''...
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