What's green and red, and goes 100 mph?A frog in a blender!

How does a tree get pregnant?By a woodpecker!

There was this lion who had just eaten a bull,and he felt good.He felt so good he opened his mouth and roared and roared. He roared until a hunter came along and shot him.The moral of the story is:...

A man went into his dentist to see why his dentures kept decaying rapidly on him.The dentist looked at his dentures and remarked, "This is very odd, they look like something's been eating them. Is...

There was a tourist on a farm and he asked the farmer why one pig had a wooden leg. The farmer said, ''That pig is the bravest pig I ever saw.''''So why does he have a wooden leg?'' the tourist...

Q: What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer's day?A: I'm bacon!

A lady goes to her priest one day and says, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.""What do they say?" the priest inquired."They say, 'Hi,...

One day a guy walked into a pet store to buy a parrot.He found one that he liked and went up to the counter to buy it. The store clerk saw which parrot he had picked out and said, ''That parrot...

What do you get when you run over a parakeet with a lawnmower?Shredded tweet!

Osama bin Laden and one of his followers were riding on a camel when they stopped at a small town.Bin Laden got off the camel and lifted up its tail and looked at the camel's butt.Just then a guy...

A man gets to his seat on the plane, and is surprised to find a parrot strapped into the seat next to him. Once in the air, the stewardess comes round, and the man asks her for a coffee, whereupon...

Mr.Marlow was strolling through the country when he saw a stable with the most beautiful horse he ever laid eyes on. It was seventeen hands high and white, with rippling muscles and a fine, flowing...

What do you get if you breed a pitbull terrier with Lassie?A dog that will chew your arm off but then run for help!

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and the friend of a lonely Scotsman?Mick Jagger says "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!" And the friend of a lonely Scotsman says "Hey, McLeod, get off my ewe!"

What did the dog get when he multiplied 88 x 7?The wrong answer.

Q: What can a bird do that a man can't?A: Whistle through his pecker.

A seven year old boy goes to the hospital with his grandmother to visit his grandfather.When they arrive, Johnny runs ahead of his granny, and bursts into his grandfather's room."Grandpa", the boy...

How long should a reindeer's legs be?Just long enough to reach the ground!

Q: What can a goose do, that a duck can't do and a lawyer should do?A: Stick his bill up his ass.

How do you kill an elephant?With an elephant gun.