Men's Rules for Women --------------------------- 1) Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up,put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us...

A man has just been in a car accident and has severe brain damage. So his sister is called in to take care of his medical decisions. First off, the doctor decides the man needs a new brain since...

Yo momma's so fat that when she a school bus she yelled "Twinkie Twinkie come back here Twinkie" and chased after it

Yo Mama So Ugly... she put the Boogie man outta business. she make Michael Jackson look like Brad Pitt when she wobbles down the street in September, folk say, "Damn it, can't...

Why did the coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back!

A police man was on duty when he got a complaint so he went to go check it out. The complaint was that a sport car had not moved from a corner and was holding up traffic. When he got there he...

A blonde one day went to the eye doctor.She complained to the doctor that she couldn't see and was having a hard time driving because of this.He then told her that she would need glasses.The blond...

A man was walking in a rich neighborhood when he saw a lost dog ad. Part of the bottom line of the ad was torn by the weather, so all the man could see of the ad was LOST DOG ...

A blonde and a brunette are skydiving. The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord -- nothing happens. She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing. The blonde finally...

1st woman: I took my son to the zoo yesterday. 2nd woman: Did they accept him?

A man dies and finds himself standing third in line at the Pearly Gates. The Angel explains that admission requirements are now a bit more strict, as a few slum landlords and con artists have...

Whats the difference between men and women? Women zoom with a camera by walking closer or farther away, Men just push the button!

My sister-in-law, a truck driver, had decided to get a dog for protection. As she inspected a likely candidate, the trainer told her, "He doesn't like men." "Perfect,"...

Q: What does a blonde do when it gets cold? A: Sits around a candle Q: What does she do when it gets really cold? A: Lights it

Jesse Jackson is visiting a primary school and he visits one of the classes. They're in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asks the "Rev"...

You lose arguments with inanimate objects. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth. Your job is interfering with your drinking. Your doctor finds traces of...

A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer's club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money. The gang was very happy to escape. "It ain't so bad,"...

What do you call a circle of blonds? A dope ring. What do you call a circle of blonds at the bottom of the ocean? An air pocket. What do you call a line of blonds standing ear to ear? a...

What Men Want More beer. More cheese. More sex. Vitamin fortified cigars. Public beer fountains. Kitty catapults. All day happy hour at a lesbian Hooters. ...

Your mom is so stupid she tried to wake up a sleeping bag.